A question to our more socially adept members

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

I really need some advice here. How on Earth do you make small-talk? I know it sounds like an easy question, but I'm really making an effort to stop being a social introvert and socialize more and it's one hell of an effort. I've spent years avoiding people and keeping to myself, so I don't have much in the way of social skill. When I'm talking to people all I can think to talk about is things like politics, philosophy, biology, quantum theory, world events, the sort of things I usually think about. And of course that turns most people off because normal people don't talk about that stuff when they socialize, they talk about the litte things.

So can you guys please give me some tips on how to make small-talk? What should I talk about? How should I guide the conversation? More importantly how on Earth do you social people make it flow so easily and not run out of things to say?

Gandalf_The_Grey Reviewed by Gandalf_The_Grey on 09-05-2007. A question to our more socially adept members I really need some advice here. How on Earth do you make small-talk? I know it sounds like an easy question, but I'm really making an effort to stop being a social introvert and socialize more and it's one hell of an effort. I've spent years avoiding people and keeping to myself, so I don't have much in the way of social skill. When I'm talking to people all I can think to talk about is things like politics, philosophy, biology, quantum theory, world events, the sort of things I usually think Rating: 5

[iNHALE.xHALE.]

start of with small talk..like how are you, what youve been up too..etc. thatll usually lead on to a more broader convo. which you can keep on going with by talkin about current events..sports..pretty much w/e the ppl your talkin to are into.

you shouldnt stress it...be calm, maybe tell a couple of jokes..the way to make the conversation interesting is to be interested in what the other person is saying..or at least seeming like your interested

[iNHALE.xHALE.]

cool avatar by the way

[thcbongman]

Well I'm socially retarded, you couldn't tell though because I am able to hide it with small talk.

You just have to feel up-beat, and have a smile on your face. That way, at least would rather talk to someone happy, than someone who looks grumpy or shy.

Stay update on the "news," talk about food, everyone can relate to that. Play off what they're saying and ask some questions to keep it going. Throw a witty line here and there.

I'm not great at talking to people, because honestly I hate talking to people. But at least I hide it well! It's not that hard, you just gotta keep doing it, and then it becomes 2nd nature.

[Blitzed]

Say hey, and ask them how their day was, or what they did. Most people love to talk about them selves, then just comment on that. And if they ask you just tell em your day, but not to in depth so you dont weird them out. Also try to look happy and pleasant, it always makes people feel better about you.

[Distortion]

but if you go up to someone you dont know, just bein like hey how you doin would be kinda weird

[GrinS]

but if you go up to someone you dont know, just bein like hey how you doin would be kinda weird

that is the thing to do. so up to someone random on the streets and pratice, act like ur crossing the same street and be like, "HEY!" and punch them in the face.... I do it all the time, works like a charm

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

hmmm, you answers are appreciated guys but this isn't what I'm looking for. I know how to ask "how are you", "what you been up to?". talk about the news and such, but I find that runs out pretty soon. It's moving past the initial pleasantries that I struggle with.

For example, what do you usually talk about when the conversation is "settled in"?

[Blitzed]

It sounds like you have plenty to talk about, you just need the right people to talk to. You need to find people with your same interests.

I re When I'm talking to people all I can think to talk about is things like politics, philosophy, biology, quantum theory, world events, the sort of things I usually think about.

Also talk about hobbies, what you do in your free time, movies, tv, something they are wearing, something they are reading, etc. I just takes getting out their and mingling, and keep things interesting and funny. Personally, your a smart interesting guy, I just think you are being to hard on your self.

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

It sounds like you have plenty to talk about, you just need the right people to talk to. You need to find people with your same interests.

Oh I can talk about all that stuff, but everybody still wants some of that more casual talk which I definately need to learn.

Also talk about hobbies, what you do in your free time, movies, tv, something they are wearing, something they are reading, etc. I just takes getting out their and mingling, and keep things interesting and funny. Personally, your a smart interesting guy, I just think you are being to hard on your self.

Those are some good ideas, thanks man! I guess my rejection of TV and pop culture doesn't help but I still love a few shows.
Believe me I'm not being hard on myself, when I socialize even with friends, eventually there's a point where they're obviously not in the mood of intellectualy heavy stuff and that's all that comes to mind.

Keep those suggestions coming my good cannabuddies!