Would like some advice please...

[GHoSToKeR]

Thanks again, guys! As a little thank you, I've repped everyone with something positive or helpful to say, which is all of you! I would do more, but I can't, so rep points it is! :P

Beachguy you're totally right, my man! She seems to have spent her life working on and refining head-games, and I'm just don't have enough practice at them!

I'll get over her. Starting college has kept me distracted this week, and will continue to do so over the 'mourning' period! Lol, there's a really cute chick that I'm gettign to know at college too, which is good!

Thank you so much! I love Cann.com and all it's awesome members! <3

[az666]

Hey dude,
Sorry I only just read your post.

I guess at least she let you know that she wasn't interested...lol sounds harsh but at least she isn't leading you on anymore.
Hope college is going well!!
When do you start again? or was it monday?

[GHoSToKeR]

Hey buddy!!

Yeah, you're right.. Anyway fuck it, I'm over it now, moving on.. There are some nice chicks at college so I'm pretty much distracted all day anyway!

Yeah it's going really well, thanks! It's the Induction Week so most of the time we're just being talked at or sitting around doing not much at all, and then being sent home early! Can't wait 'til we start work properly next week; the course is so intense but it's really interesting, plus we do alot of writing which is cool!

How's work going? Still haven't popped in to get those bass strings but I will do, and I'll make sure to say hey or ask for you.... As soon as my student grant comes through! lol

[PlantBoxer]

Sometimes we just need to leave our *feelings* at the breakfast table. IMHO, the lady just wanted booty call, and you didnt leave your feelings at the breakfast table.
When I was 17, I dated a lady 35, 2 kids, no hubby. She passed me around to her friends like a vibrator with fresh batteries!! Theres love, lust, and lusting lovers, dont involve your *feelings*. She let you know where you stand.

[GHoSToKeR]

No, she led me to believe that I stood over here, when in actually fact I was all the way over here. In fact the place I was actually standing was so far away from the place that she led me to believe I was standing, that, um, like.. it was just really far away. I couldn't really stretch that analargy much further. You get the point, though.

[BUZz UK]

Thats unlucky ghosty, at least she's the bitch, and you don't have to feel guilty, whay :jointsmile:

lol

[Markass]

Okay guys, I was just wondering if I could get some advice.. I've come to trust the opinions and advice of members here over the last few years, and other than my friends, who can't really help right now, I don't know who to come to..

So, okay.. A few weeks ago I met this woman. We got along really well, knew the same people, liked the same stuff, and really wanted to see eachother again, so we did.

There's quite an age gap between me and her, but I'm mature enough to get along with someone older, and she's not exactly old.. I'm 20, she's 33.. But like I said, I act alot older than I am, and in some respects, she acts alot younger.

Anyway, right... We started meeting up, going on dates and stuff, hanging out, and all was cool. Then one Sunday she invited me back to her house, we stayed up all night chatting, and then when she announced she was going to bed and I went to say goodbye and go home, she invited me up to her bedroom, and I ended up staying the night. Since then we've been together alot, spent alot of really intimate time together, and everything was going well.. We both 'fell' for eachother really quickly, and we were both really happy.

Or so I thought.

Last night I had a gig with my band, it was for a charity event and she said she really wanted to come along, so she did. After we finished playing and the venue closed, we decided to move along to another bar, but I had to finish packing some stuff away and so I said I'd meet her there.

When I got there, she acted totally different. She barely acknowledge me, didn't speak to me, and was just really odd. I didn't have a clue what was going on, but then I saw her chatting to an acquaintance of mine who I'd introduced her to at the gig and who she'd met once previously (I'll just call him J).

I'm not the jealous type, so when I saw them slow-dancing together (and yeah, maybe I'm nieve) I didn't think anything of it.. I just carried on talking to my friends, and occasionally glanced over at her, J and one of his friends. Then I saw the guy they were both with whisper something to her, and she walked away. Then the guy picked up J's jacket, gave it to him, pointed after her, and J followed her.

Again I decided to let it go because I thought I was just being an idiot worrying about it.. Maybe she'd gone to the fuckin bathroom or something, who knows. But then I went out for a cigarette and passed him and her sitting on a couch, not doing anything but chatting really close and stuff.

Anyway to attempt to cut a long story short, when the bar closed, I went outside, and she was standing there, to my left. J walked out and didn't see her, and walked to my right. She saw him, saw me, and just stood there, so I went over. At that point she walked away form me without even looking at me, and I went after her and just said "hey what's up?" and she went "sorry I don't want to talk to you" in this really shy kind of way.. A few seconds later she walked off and her and J walked of together.

Fine, she's fucked me over, whatever.. I gathered up the dudes I was with and moved on to another bar, and decided to drown my sorrows in as much alcohol as possible. We went on to the dancefloor and my buddy tapped me on the shoulder and pointed at someone, when I looked to see who I realised it was her and J dancing together. Fuck it, who cares, right? But then she walked off and J saw me and came over to talk to me like we were best fucking buddies.. Despite my attempts at being a pacifist, I was drunk and angry, and pushed him away and told him to fuck off. Anyway, we barely avoided having a fight because he asked me to go outside and have a cigarette.

He acted like he didn't know what was going on so I told him what I thought was happening, and he was like "dude, you've got it totally wrong" BUT he did say that if me and her were to split up, he'd definately go for her!! At that point I had to just walk away.

Anyway he approached me later and told me that she wanted to meet me outside the bar when it closed. So I waited, and she didn't show up, so I went home.

Guys, I'm fucking absolutely crazy about her, and she said exactly the same about me! But after all that shit it kind of fucked my head up.. I was in such a bad mood, but when I got home I had an msn message from her saying stuff like "I feel so bad" and "you probably hate me now", so I called her on the phone, and she asked me to come round (we live like 2 minutes from eachother)..

When I got there she was acting all shy and weird, but she basically just said that the reason she acted like that was because somebody had referred to her as "James's girlfriend" and it freaked her out because she's been single for quite a while and bla bla bla, she didn't know how to handle it.

I was kind of drunk so I told her how much she'd fucked me over and she kept saying she was sorry, but that she thinks I should be with someone my age and alot of other bullshit. It would make sense if it wasn't her who had instigated the whole fuckin relationship, you know?

Anyway in the end I just walked out because I was really upset. I called her this morning not to try and get with her or to beg or plead or whatever, I just called her to apologise for being a bit of a dick last night after all this happened. I know she should be apologising to me, but I don't like to be enemies with anyone or hold a grudge against anyone. When I called her this morning though she's asked me to go around to hers at 12 today to "talk".

Dudes, really fucxking sorry about the long message, I'm just totally torn up about this and needed to get it off my chest now that the booze has worn off.. Not that I can think clearly, I feel fucked up, but you know. I don't even really know what advice I want from you, but if you've read this far then maybe you can just you know, give me your opinions abot how I should handle this? thanks

it sounds to me like she's out to have some fun, and you were fun for a while, but then once she went to the bar around others, she lost interest in you...

How long had you guys been friends with benefits or whatever before this bar incident??

if it were me I'd just shrug it off and not worry about it, bro..she wants to mess with other people with you right there..someone you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with I'd say..

good luck man:thumbsup::stoned:

[GHoSToKeR]

Hey, thanks for the replies, fellow tokers! Markass you're right.. I'm over it now anyway! I mean, not totally.. I still think what happened was shit and I'd like to remain friends with her, but she obviously doesn't want to, considering every time I bump into her she just walks straight past me. Anyway, I'm over her, I've got enough on my plate as it is without having to deal with immature women like her, especially when they lack the ability to be honest on any level...

I'm gonna stop this post before I start to sound bitter... Or is it too late?