Geeze, I can't believe how stupid you all are by drinking water.

Water is the leading cause of floods. Floods that destroy homes, kills people, drowns babies, famish crops, carry all kinds of disgusting diseases, and murder puppy dogs.

It has been scientifically proven that if you inhale less than 2 ounces of water, YOU WILL DIE.

Every evil person on the face of this earth drank water. Especially terrorists. You don't support terrorists, do you?

Water is also a bad influence on children. Look at Hurricane Katrina. Do you really want your children being exposed to such violence?

Why do you think cats hate water? They're highly evolved species who simply can't communicate the very real dangers of water in a way humans can plainly understand. Our brains simply aren't developed enough to de-code their communication.

Remember, Americans- when you drink water, you let the terrorists win.