I advise you to read this.

Do it now.

Shitty Roommate - By Martin Random


Some quotes:

He left a dead cat he found somewhere in our oven for a week and forgot about it. I discovered it later.

He owned 6 tarantulas, and would let one run around free-range. He assured me he had "tamed it." I assured him he was a stupid fuckhead.

All from page one.