I got fired from McDonald's for not being fast enough. I got fired from Taco Bell for eating too much. They even started a one-free-item-with-meat-or-cheese rule, just because of me. I found a crack in that rule though: take 3 or 4 burrito skins, paste 'em together and make a single 5-pound meat lover's burrito. That's when they fired me. Guess I just wasn't cut out for the fast food life.