JD1stTimer, my husband was just reading over my shoulder. He wondered if you had any female friends who might want the honor of deflowering you--or if any of your guy friends have sisters. That's how he chalked off his first time, the hot older sister of a friend. Where it's almost like a pre-arranged thing where someone volunteers to take you on just to initiate you out of friendship. Not a heavy love thing, but not completely absent of emotional connection, either.