I hate him but I want to love him.

[BabyFacedAbortion]

I used to have the problem that I'd never want to leave my boyfriend, as some as you remember. I was extremely dedicated and in love, or some shit. Now, I hate him. He makes me cringe, when he tries to fuck me..I get nauseas, when he talks to me I completely ignore him, anything he does is WRONG in my eyes, but without reasoning.

A few weeks ago I was madly in love, and now I'm so disgusted with him I don't know what to do. I've tried to dump him several times and each time he doesn't leave..he won't accept it even though he's tried to dump me as well (although he kind of just acted like it never happened, because I accepted the break-up).

Right now, I feel like I'm just humoring him, yet I'm treating him like complete SHIT, worse then I've ever treated anyone. I ignore him when he texts me then yell at him for not talking to me. I'm rude and moody but only towards him. Why do I have a sudden hatred for a boy I wanted to marry?

We have had our share fair of fighting, mostly caused by him (when I was still in love) and he used to really fuck with me emotionally, but I never did anything about it. I sat their and took it with a smile, so to speak. Could me bottling up my emotions THEN be effecting my feelings for him NOW?

The only *real* flaw with him now is that he's an alcoholic, but not in an abusive way or anything, just always reeking of booze. Other then that he's being the "perfect" boyfriend. Yet I still find the stench of beer and liquor absolutely raunchy.

I want to love him but I just can't.

What do I do? Help!

BabyFacedAbortion Reviewed by BabyFacedAbortion on 08-19-2007. I hate him but I want to love him. I used to have the problem that I'd never want to leave my boyfriend, as some as you remember. I was extremely dedicated and in love, or some shit. Now, I hate him. He makes me cringe, when he tries to fuck me..I get nauseas, when he talks to me I completely ignore him, anything he does is WRONG in my eyes, but without reasoning. A few weeks ago I was madly in love, and now I'm so disgusted with him I don't know what to do. I've tried to dump him several times and each time he doesn't Rating: 5

[ganjzilla]

if you really want out the only thing to do is set him down and tell him, because if u really feel this way its not goin to go anywhere

[Mex]

Yeah you gotta just tell people what you feel, that's always the easiest way.

[thcbongman]

You are deeply invested in him emotionally. You want to do whatever it takes to keep him together. I think you deeply care for him. I don't think you love him.

I know you heard it from many of us from here, but it's time to let him go, for his sake and yours. You can't love someone you despise.

[Blitzed]

You are deeply invested in him emotionally. You want to do whatever it takes to keep him together. I think you deeply care for him. I don't think you love him.

I know you heard it from many of us from here, but it's time to let him go, for his sake and yours. You can't love someone you despise.

Amen

[Storm Crow]

"Why do I have a sudden hatred for a boy I wanted to marry?"

"he used to really fuck with me emotionally"
"he's an alcoholic... always reeking of booze"
"We have had our share fair of fighting, mostly caused by him"


This is the guy you wanted to marry? :wtf: :question: I'm just wondering why you think this guy is remotely marriageable? He's got his 3 strikes- he's out! Actually, I think your present reaction is way closer to being sensible!

"He makes me cringe, when he tries to fuck me..I get nauseas, when he talks to me I completely ignore him, anything he does is WRONG in my eyes" ( I note that's "fuck", not "make love".)

I think you are simply "wising up" to who he is and who he may become! Your common sense (or higher power) is telling you this is NOT your soulmate! Emotional abuse ( which often leads to physical abuse) + alcoholism + argumentative nature = Something less than an optimal spouse!

If all else fails, change the locks and give him a "Cherokee divorce" -all his stuff outside the door- it's not too hard to get the idea then, even if he is dense! (In the matrilocal Cherokee society, women owned the house and fields, and divorce was just that simple! They also selected the chiefs.)- Anyway, pay attention to your gut feeling, it's usually right- kick him to the curb!

There are far more stoner dudes than gals :thumbsup: - you get to take your pick! No reason to stay with that loser!

Good luck, hon- Granny:hippy:

[MadSativa]

BFA buy not telling him what you didnt like in the beggining you reasured him that his actions were wanted. All those little things (which are not that little emotional playing is the muther of all fukups) that you didnt like are now amplified buy weeks of him thinking thats what you want. He wont change and you wont change what has to change is the situation. Break it off by not giving him any outs, simply say I dont feel for you the same anymore, he will probly want to fight your dicision but dont give him an outs if he says I love you, you say I know but the felling is not muttual, If he says thats not what you felt last week then tell him it is no longer last week. You dont have to be mean or yell at him but the way it sounds hes gonna hound you for a while. Dont answer his phone calls if he pulls the calling from a friends phone and you answer, just say Im sorry but we cant talk cause its over and hang up. Unless you want to carry on like you have been you have to end it. No just friends no break up sex just bye. Better to have love and lost than not loved at all, And next time mabey you shouldnt bottle up everything, your a smart and yong hottie but you are putting your self in these situations, although Im sure alot was mutual between the both of you.

[cannabis campbell]

Hey BFA I know exactly how you feel im sure we've all been there but I think you have to ask yourself do you really want to dump him and end it forever because if you do then you cant really say you love him, I know what you mean though when you say you just want to love him but you cant and from my experience I think i have the answer, its that you need to give each other space if your with each other every single day or for long periods of time then you just get fed up of each other and your bodys basically reacting to that and just picking at him for little things because what you really want to say (subconsciously) is FUCK OFF GIVE ME SOME SPACE, obviously thats just from my experience I could be wrong for all I know you only see him once a week but thats most likely a common reason.

[Blitzed]

Yeah, a break might be a good thing, tell him he needs to change his ways if he wants to keep you. In my relationships the girls always seem to have controll over me, and Id do 95% of what they ask me to do, and Im sure its the same in most relationships. After a couple weeks if he said he will change and you trust him, go back. If he doesnt than go out and have some fun.

I mean you can always road trip to IL, and come party with me! :stoned:

[BlAzInIt4:20]

sounds like you have already made up your mind.. now it's time to accept and forgive and forget. It was good while it lasted thats how i think of it. Their are so many people in this world im sure you can find urself someone that wont make you cringe in bed. your beautiful.. and seems like you have an okay head on your shoulders. You jsut need to start thinking of yourself more and what makes you happy. don't be so worried about everyone else. He will be okay its okay to let go, when its time its time...