I've been trolling forums for a few years now, but have never posted. This will probably be my first and last.

UTD, you aren't alone. 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. I'm currently and have been for the last 2 years on all medications used to fight this disease, all at their full potential. It's never worked. The only thing that has is marijuana. It doesn't end there however. A year ago, I was diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis, auto-immune pancreatitis, and an annular pancreas. Depressing maybe, but I'm proud to say that I'm the only person in the history of the world that has had to deal with all 4 diseases at the same time. Except for a very few close friends, everyone believes me to be conquering these diseases because of the extensive medicine I am taking (over 35 pills a day). Similar to you, I am usually in noticeable to extreme pain when sober.

More importantly however, I also have friends and family that would never accept or condone the use of marijuana. Everyone at some point in their life was taught and BELIEVED that marijuana was illegal for a reason, so don't blame them too much. I imagine your father feels the way he does about marijuana for a few reasons. 1) I'm 100% positive he doesn't like the idea that there is nothing he can do to help you, it probably tears him up inside more then all of us can imagine.
2) He also is probably unaware of marijuana's medicinal capabilities for your disease, believing that you use it to escape life rather than make it livable.
Although I haven't had to convince a family member of cannabis's effect in my life, I did to my 4 closest friends.

The question still remains then, what exactly do you do to improve the situation? The first tip I can give you is no matter what your father decides, all you can do is approach him with a smile and tell him you love him. It will not help you convince your father or keep the strong bond you currently seem to have with him if you choose weed over him. Instead, choose both. If he kicks you out of the house so be it, no one has a right to tell you you deserve to live a life of pain. Life will get better, I made it through. When my 4 closest friends first found out I started smoking weed, which was a little over a year ago, they would not talk to me or hang out with me if I was high. In all sincerity, I wasn't ready to give up that easy. I continued to smoke, and continued to try and hang out with them. I had no intention of throwing away the 4 greatest friendships I had created. It might take awhile, but you will convince your dad just like I convinced my friends. People can try and deny you, but when all you show them is love and kindness, it becomes near impossible and evil, and they realize this. Your dad will come through, just remain hopeful.

These will be dark days for you, but stay strong and confident, you and your father need this. Life has a funny way of FINALLY giving you what you want. I recently just graduated high school, a feat that I feared I wouldn't accomplish this year. Having been in and out of the hospital for long periods of time, it looked unlikely. Hell, I had no intention of applying to college, but my senior counselor forced me to. I'm glad to say that I was accepted into Notre Dame and will be attending there next year. My pancreatitis has left me alone for a few months now, so hospital visits are no longer needed.

I apologize for the long post. Like maybe people on these boards, I am in a comfortable state which allows me to ramble more then I'd like, but there are a few more things I'd like to say. In life, you will come across people that will make you their enemy, just make sure you don't make them yours. And if it helps at all, I wrote this post just as much for you as I did for me. Don't give up my friend, you deserve to be happy, and it's up to you to let yourself. :thumbsup: