That's quite a harsh situation to deal with UTD, I'm sorry you're going through it. Remember though, suffering is the inevitable, unavoidable, defining characteristic of life. It is what we do with it, what we learn from it, that decides where we end up. All things in life are impermanent, both suffering and joy. What you're going through now will have its end, like anything else.

The drugs you listed seem to be autoimmune and anti-inflammatory drugs. There are opiod analgesics if you really can't alleviate the pain, but these are of course risky with addiction and whatnot. There is one that I'm on, called Tramadol, and it has the lowest addiction potential. I'm hooked on it now unfortunately, but it took a year of near-daily use before I finally got addicted. (before I could go 2-3 days without no problem).


With your dad, there's no easy answer. It's sad that he seems to be incredibly ignorant about the plant, poisoning his body with alcohol while hypocritically threatening to kick you out of the house over a non-toxic natural substance. I'll never understand how somebody can say "I don't care about fucking research". I suppose science is no match of stubborn presuppositions

I think you need to quit the weed for a little while, maybe a couple weeks, but at least 'till you've had your spinal implant. It'll be good to get your tolerance down to save money and get better analgesia (painkilling). Once you get back to it, assuming you really feel you can't do without it, find a really excellent hiding spot. Outside is great of course, and keep your bud in a glass jar to ensure the smell stays concealed. Then all you can do is hide it as well as possible 'till you can move out.


Right now though, try not to feel too lonely. You have your cannabis.com friends here, you have god, you will have more people to talk to tomorrow (I hope).
Until then, try to attain a state of mental clarity by doing the following. It's an amazing Huna shamanic meditation technique that works remarkably well and fast:

Sit down in a comfortable possition, or lie down if you can't manage that (sitting's better though since it keeps you from falling asleep). Look upwards and hold your gaze in that possition (if you need to close your eyes into the practice, that's fine). Close your throat with your tongue and breath slowly and deeply in through your nose. Then breath out, taking twice as long, through your throat making a quiet sound like "Haaaaaaaaaaa". Hold your mental focus on your breathing as much as possible, but if thoughts come don't worry, just let them pass. Repeat as necessary, and you'll notice some remarkable effects within a minute. It only gets better from there on.

Good luck to you!:hippy:
Gandalf_The_Grey Reviewed by Gandalf_The_Grey on . My friends, Im in tears having to make THE toughest decision of my life This is my first significant post and tonight something has happened that I have to make a decision by tomorow, like it or not, that will change my future :( I BEG YOU, PLEASE read this long post that I have been writing while tears have been running down my face.... I am 19 years old, live in Dallas, Tx and I am a part time waiter-student who is living with my dad. For the past 2 years I have been diagnosed with a rare disease, Hidretinitous Suppurativa, which, long story short, gives me Rating: 5