Ok, after reading the entire thing here's what I think.

One....stop using the woman you're dating now as a crucifix against being alone. It's not fair to her and it will keep you from growing. Neato that she loves you.....you obviously don't love her. Nuff said there.

Yes, I would try and contact this other woman AFTER you have straightened your own relationships issues out.....not before. Maybe she has moved on....maybe not. You don't know until you look around and ask.

Sounds to me like you need to get to know yourself first......try some silence.

Good Luck Geo.