If she's single, that's great. I rarely go for girls with BFs, but it can be done. Especially in a situation like what you had described, all those complaints she verbalized to you were little windows. Widnows to make her realize that he wasn't right for her. But now that's irrelevant.

To avoid being the "friend", you have to retain your sexuality. Certain girls have subtle ways of making it seem like you'll never be able to have anything with them; most of the time, it's shit. I mean, think about it, is it her right to make you into Oprah? If you want to be flirty, be flirty. Don't be afraid to touch (not in the creepy lecherous way, just in the way that says you aren't a wimp and makes little sparks happen). In the worst case, she won't be responsive, you'll still be friends, and you can always flirt with other girls (it's weird, flirting with another girl in front of a "friend" can make her want you more than logic would lead one to believe).

Basically, have fun with it. Romance is supposed to be. Who needs to feel uncomfortable and worried all the time? Too many fish for that.

In response to your other post, why didn't you make a move on the other girl? There's nothing wrong with hooking up with one girl when you like another (as long as you don't lie about anything). At the time, your girl of choice was with some dude. Why couldn't you be with some chick?

I hope that I don't sound like some douche bag misogynist. It just pains me to see goods guys getting played and stuck as friends while the jerk gets the girl.

Love.