Quote Originally Posted by drivebyphilosopher
In one sense, you are spot on. I agree and I have contemplated divorce deeply. However, I have never made a move like this, and I've never showed some spine. I'm waiting for her to admit that she was wrong to treat me the way she did, and that she will do her part. I'm waiting to SEE her do her part. I can hear it in her voice that she does not like her mothers place when we talk, but she is stubborn too and can't stand being wrong. It's tough on her.

I made a commitment to her, as stupid as it might have been, I made a promise. We married each other. However, that does not mean I'm going to get on my hands and knees for her. I told her that the only way I'm accepting her back is if we go through a sort of marriage counseling by some professionals. Even then, I told her that things have to change. If she can't accept that, then I will gladly divorce her. I'm not going to just throw my hands up in the air though and eject, not yet.

I understand that you want to save me the heartbreak. I've got more advice in this thread than I have gotten in my whole life on this woman. All of you seem to understand her, and all of you seem to understand me. That's great. In the end, the decision rests with me though... I know that she's no good right now, I know that what's going on is bad for me, and I have been given many ideas as to how to fix it. For the first time in my life, divorce is a real option. It is a serious option that takes some very careful consideration, before I become the epitome of what I hate about american society (infidelity, divorce, and lack of respect).

I think the most telling comments come from some of the women here, who are urging me to bail out. Some of you have also experienced what she is experiencing, as far as depression, suicidal thoughts, and laziness goes. I want to help her, but I don't want to let her play with me the way she does. I will do what I can, and if in the end I decide its not worth it, which it probably isn't, then yes, I will leave her.

And yes, I will keep you all updated.
My friend, there is nothing stupid for committing to the promise that you made, nothing but respect from me lies in that decision. I hope you are right, I hope that this could be the life-changing moment that she needed to snap into a healthy mindset and lifestyle. I hope for both of your sakes!

It makes me happy to see that there are younger folks who still understand the commitment of marriage, and I wish the best for you! Just make sure you stand strong against her immature impulses!

Good luck dude!