I feel so drained and used

[420MissHighTimes420]

I'm sorry for venting about my life on here so much but I have a long work day on the computer, and too much time to think. I feel so used by my boyfriend, I feel like all I do is give give give to everyone, and I am left feeling drained. I've been running on E for alittle while now, and shits about to fall apart. Even though things have been good with us I stll cant help but feel taken advantage of. After sucking his dick, and smoking him up on a blunt, he asks to pinch some of my weed. after the firs ttime he does it agian. This is all after I buy him concert tickets -- which he said he would pay me back for but neevr does. -- he has NEVER taken me out to eat. The one time we ate toegter not at our houses I PAYED! last nite was the last straw though. Not only did i give him head, let him do me any way he wanted, let him smoke 4 of the blunts that I payed and rolled! but then I ask him to eat me out and he says no! I dont kno why him saying no is making me so depressed but it is. The one thing! The one thing i ask for, and he says no! Not only does that make me feel used agian, but it makes me feel ugly and unworthy. i want to go cry about it. i need to end it. but I know no matter what anyone says i wont be strong enough to. how fucked up is that though. then once he finished fucking me in a way that wasnt very comforatble for me, and letting him cum on my face which i dont like at all (it makes me feel degraded) he ate ALL of the food in my apartment. which i cant afford. he said he will buy me more. but i know he wont. i thougth venting would help me feel better, but im afraid it just confirmed the fact that I'm pathetic.

420MissHighTimes420 Reviewed by 420MissHighTimes420 on 08-13-2007. I feel so drained and used I'm sorry for venting about my life on here so much but I have a long work day on the computer, and too much time to think. I feel so used by my boyfriend, I feel like all I do is give give give to everyone, and I am left feeling drained. I've been running on E for alittle while now, and shits about to fall apart. Even though things have been good with us I stll cant help but feel taken advantage of. After sucking his dick, and smoking him up on a blunt, he asks to pinch some of my weed. after Rating: 5

[Ganj]

I think you should at least talk to him about how you feel. Tough love might not always get the desired response.

[Ganj]

What's he doing with his money? He works but you buy the weed, cook the food, take him out.

[thcbongman]

If I was her BF, I'd be ashamed and kill myself.

That sounds too pathetic to describe in words. Get a REAL man.

[Storm Crow]

You ARE being used! I want you to take a deep breath and read your post like you never had seen it before! Look at it like it was some other person's post! What would you tell her?

A relationship that is going to work has to have one of two things (a) a 50/50 give and take, combined with respect and shared interests.:thumbsup: Or (b) one person who is willing to be a doormat and the other enough of an ass to keep it that way. You have "b".

Now there are three possible courses of action.
(1) Things stay as they are you get more and more depressed (and used) and finally he dumps you for a "less screwed up" chick (and begins the process all over again).
(2) You grab him and tell him exactly how you feel, then base you next moves on his reaction/response.
(3) You put on some feminist music ("Harden my heart" "I will Survive", "I'm a Survivor", etc), smoke a fattie, and kick his arse to the curb! (You could always do a "traditional" "Cherokee divorce", -he comes home to his stuff on the doorstep. Most of the US is part Cherokee)

But dear, he is not just using you, he's abusing you. Read up on co-dependence and psychological abuse- try the public library. See if they have an old copy of "Sisterhood is Powerful" by Robin Morgan. You NEED to read that book! It's old, but it's still true! It's mostly articles- but there are a few poems and this one is for you-

[align=center]For Witches[/align]
[align=left]today I lost my temper
Temper, when one talks of metal
means to make strong
perfect.

Temper, for humans, means angry
irrational
bad

Today I found my temper
I said,
you step on my head
for 27 years you step on my head
and though I have been trained
to excuse you for your inevitable
clumbsiness
today I think
I prefer my head to your clumbsiness

Today I began
to find
myself.



tomorrow
perhaps
I will begin
to find
you.
[/align]

Susan Sutheim

One of these days, you will "prefer your head" to his selfishness. He seems to be a vampire, a taker, a user, a leech- lots of names for that kind of guy. Stoner dudes are a dime a dozen (sorry guys, but there ARE a lot of you) Stoner gals, however are rare! You should be able to pick and choose, hon! And daaaang, you can do so much better than that self-centered, chauvinistic leech! At least, find a guy who buys his own stash and treats you decent!

Granny:hippy:

[FakeBoobsRule]

You need to get out of this relationship and get out of it now. You want to but I hear some fear in your response, fear of the unknown or maybe being alone. Get out now, the longer it goes one, the harder it will be. Set yourself free, there are 3 billion men on this Earth, you will find someone else.

[align=center]We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how hard we try[/align]

He is your sickness and he is sucking the life out of you. You will feel so much better if you do, like you are reborn.

[WordUpMuffin]

Is this still the same lame fool who's been using you for a doormat since last month?
Let me just say this, again...
You get what you settle for.
And as for the oral, if he cared AT ALL about you, there would be NO QUESTION. You wouldn't have to ask for it,
you'd have to ask him to stop.
Dump The Chump.

ummm THANK YOU!

Dump that loser! Esp. if the sex isn't amazing in everyway that he gives it(can you say not worth it?) There is soo much better out there, just waiting for you to dump this guy!

[DarkHairedSativa]

Oh,you are worth so much more...Does he have a job?? If so tell him to buy his own shit....but I know how you feel about the no answer...I get that too at times and t always make me feel like somethings wrong with me.I don't get the thought process going on in their heads...Maybe there is none.But I would seriously tell him how you feel no matter how hard it is and tell him he needs to pay for and eat/smoke his own shit.If he doesn't like it he knows where the door is,if that's his choice,but he might not take the out.Ya never know.There is no way it's going to get better though if you don't say anything....

Good luck sweety!!

[Ganj]

You could tell him things like that all you want but it wont sink in until he goes without.

[psteve]

Is this still the same lame fool who's been using you for a doormat since last month?
Let me just say this, again...
You get what you settle for.
And as for the oral, if he cared AT ALL about you, there would be NO QUESTION. You wouldn't have to ask for it,
you'd have to ask him to stop.
Dump The Chump.