I feel so drained and used

[WordUpMuffin]

Is this still the same lame fool who's been using you for a doormat since last month?
Let me just say this, again...
You get what you settle for.
And as for the oral, if he cared AT ALL about you, there would be NO QUESTION. You wouldn't have to ask for it,
you'd have to ask him to stop.
Dump The Chump.

ummm THANK YOU!

Dump that loser! Esp. if the sex isn't amazing in everyway that he gives it(can you say not worth it?) There is soo much better out there, just waiting for you to dump this guy!

[Spoken Word]

Come on girl. From what I've read from you...it seems like you are strong enough to be single. You don't need guys like that....Guys that use you and don't appreciate you. I used to be like that, when I was 16,17....
it might be lots of things but one thing is for sure... He does not appreciate you.

if i may ask, what does he give you or help you with? does he show any feelings at all?

[FakeBoobsRule]

You need to get out of this relationship and get out of it now. You want to but I hear some fear in your response, fear of the unknown or maybe being alone. Get out now, the longer it goes one, the harder it will be. Set yourself free, there are 3 billion men on this Earth, you will find someone else.

[align=center]We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how hard we try[/align]

He is your sickness and he is sucking the life out of you. You will feel so much better if you do, like you are reborn.

[Storm Crow]

You ARE being used! I want you to take a deep breath and read your post like you never had seen it before! Look at it like it was some other person's post! What would you tell her?

A relationship that is going to work has to have one of two things (a) a 50/50 give and take, combined with respect and shared interests.:thumbsup: Or (b) one person who is willing to be a doormat and the other enough of an ass to keep it that way. You have "b".

Now there are three possible courses of action.
(1) Things stay as they are you get more and more depressed (and used) and finally he dumps you for a "less screwed up" chick (and begins the process all over again).
(2) You grab him and tell him exactly how you feel, then base you next moves on his reaction/response.
(3) You put on some feminist music ("Harden my heart" "I will Survive", "I'm a Survivor", etc), smoke a fattie, and kick his arse to the curb! (You could always do a "traditional" "Cherokee divorce", -he comes home to his stuff on the doorstep. Most of the US is part Cherokee)

But dear, he is not just using you, he's abusing you. Read up on co-dependence and psychological abuse- try the public library. See if they have an old copy of "Sisterhood is Powerful" by Robin Morgan. You NEED to read that book! It's old, but it's still true! It's mostly articles- but there are a few poems and this one is for you-

[align=center]For Witches[/align]
[align=left]today I lost my temper
Temper, when one talks of metal
means to make strong
perfect.

Temper, for humans, means angry
irrational
bad

Today I found my temper
I said,
you step on my head
for 27 years you step on my head
and though I have been trained
to excuse you for your inevitable
clumbsiness
today I think
I prefer my head to your clumbsiness

Today I began
to find
myself.



tomorrow
perhaps
I will begin
to find
you.
[/align]

Susan Sutheim

One of these days, you will "prefer your head" to his selfishness. He seems to be a vampire, a taker, a user, a leech- lots of names for that kind of guy. Stoner dudes are a dime a dozen (sorry guys, but there ARE a lot of you) Stoner gals, however are rare! You should be able to pick and choose, hon! And daaaang, you can do so much better than that self-centered, chauvinistic leech! At least, find a guy who buys his own stash and treats you decent!

Granny:hippy:

[Ganj]

What's he doing with his money? He works but you buy the weed, cook the food, take him out.

[Ganj]

I think you should at least talk to him about how you feel. Tough love might not always get the desired response.

[thcbongman]

If I was her BF, I'd be ashamed and kill myself.

That sounds too pathetic to describe in words. Get a REAL man.

[GraziLovesMary]

If I was her BF, I'd be ashamed and kill myself.

That sounds too pathetic to describe in words. Get a REAL man.

Ditto. If after all that he doesnt eat you out, dump him. Dont even feel bad about it, hes a piece of shit, and if he treats you like that I guarantee he brags about it to his friends.

It will never change or get better, he will always be the same.

You are not ugly or worthless. You are beautiful and selflessly giving.

If you stay with him it is your fault from here on out. You are telling him and other people its alright to treat you like shit. Worse, you are admitting it to yourself. Its not ok.

I wonder if you have an inferiority complex. Reverse that shit.. start getting a little cocky and arrogant if nothing else. Hes not good enough for you, so be picky. Dump his ass and laugh in his face about it. Dont get another boyfriend for a while, at least a few months. Clear your head. Be a bitch and enjoy it.

[ghosty]

What a chump, the guy is leeching off of you for sex and smokes... that's pretty pathetic. He's never done anything nice for you, and refuses to do a little lickin and return the favor?... As a guy, knowing how we think...I'd have to say that's a clear sign he's just using you, and he obviously knows it and is using it to his advantage otherwise IMO if he did care about you he'd feel guilty about never paying or doing anything nice, and he'd attempt to do something special once in a while, or at least be willing to give some oral. It's may be hard to say goodbye, but it'll just be harder if you hang onto him, and the longer you hang on the harder it will be. Ditch him, and you'll feel lonely for a while, but I'm confident that you'll be able to suck it up and handle it, and when you do... there's plenty of other fish in the sea, and I'm sure you could find a guy willing to treat you better.

[crudemood]

i think its clear what the decision is right now. i think 100% of the responses here say so. i wish you the BEST of luck with him.