Quote Originally Posted by trynagethigh
I feel everybodys pain here as I lost my entire family 4 years ago to murder. Yes I do bottle a lot of the pain up and like Slip said when it explodes it aint pretty. Feelings of guilt, yes to an extent. I feel guilty because I know if I would have been there this wouldnt have happened and I somehow blame myself for that.

True enough whatever doesnt kill you definitely makes you stronger but sometimes it makes you a hell of a lot harder too, even a more colder person as my experience has done me. Coping with loss is different for everybody and everybody has to find their own way of doing it. For some its to respond angrily all the time, for some its to just put it in the back of your mind. Point being you gotta deal with it sooner or later.

As far as music goes, yes the one song that really gets my blood boiling and into tears is Duran Duran's Hungry like the wolf. The song sends me into a complete outrage and i have to change the song as soon as possible. Its wierd how shit like a song can do that to you and have that kind of effect on you. Just keep steppin people and take one day at a time.

I find its hard to become 'normal' again once something so tradgic has happened to you. You become so cold and isolated because you don't want anyone to see this 'dark' side of you that has seemd to overpower all the good that was left in you. I tend to just bottle it up, repressed it, forget it and ignore it. I dont want to deal with things head on, I'm just not that type of person. How unhealthy it is, but its what I learned growing up.