has anyone had to deal with the loss of a loved one?

[crudemood]

I feel everybodys pain here as I lost my entire family 4 years ago to murder. Yes I do bottle a lot of the pain up and like Slip said when it explodes it aint pretty. Feelings of guilt, yes to an extent. I feel guilty because I know if I would have been there this wouldnt have happened and I somehow blame myself for that.

True enough whatever doesnt kill you definitely makes you stronger but sometimes it makes you a hell of a lot harder too, even a more colder person as my experience has done me. Coping with loss is different for everybody and everybody has to find their own way of doing it. For some its to respond angrily all the time, for some its to just put it in the back of your mind. Point being you gotta deal with it sooner or later.

As far as music goes, yes the one song that really gets my blood boiling and into tears is Duran Duran's Hungry like the wolf. The song sends me into a complete outrage and i have to change the song as soon as possible. Its wierd how shit like a song can do that to you and have that kind of effect on you. Just keep steppin people and take one day at a time.

I find its hard to become 'normal' again once something so tradgic has happened to you. You become so cold and isolated because you don't want anyone to see this 'dark' side of you that has seemd to overpower all the good that was left in you. I tend to just bottle it up, repressed it, forget it and ignore it. I dont want to deal with things head on, I'm just not that type of person. How unhealthy it is, but its what I learned growing up.

[c of green]

I would get more into things but i'm not alone and don't like people to see me cry but.......lost my dad to cancer when i was eleven,lost my brother to violence before that and one friend hung himself.alchohol and violence where how i coped.then i found marijuana to calm the anger and my pregnant wife helps me look to the future more so than the past.

[tootsie roll]

i know theres a few people on here, that have lost very close family members... but i was just wonder how everyone has delt with the loss of those family members and friends....


for me... i basicaly started using alot of drugs and alcohal, to cope with loosing my grandpa, who made me the man i am today...

and started using more drugs when my cusian/aunt(we consider he our aunt because of her age, and also because of how close i am to her sons, her oldest one in perticular...)

but loosing my grandpa who basicaly raised me from birth... we lived with him, befor my parents got their own house... and even after we moved, my grandma and grandpa moved 2 houses away from were we lived at... and basicaly he would watch me and my siblings everyday while our parents were at work... and even after we started school... he would watch us, and when i needed a ride some place, he would give me a ride... or when i got kicked off the bus for good... he would wake up and give me a ride to and from school every day... he tought me everything i needed to know in my life(he wasnt good with schooling... but he knew how to drive trucks... how to fish... how to work on cars and trucks... how to weld... and how fix small motors..) and he tought me everything except how to weld... he tought me how to run the chain saws... how to mow a lawn and make it look nice... tought me how to drive... tought me how to gut a fish... tought me how to dress so i would look good... tought me how to cut my hair... hell he even tought me how to fucking pee....

he was a good man...

(sorry... i just needed to say somethings that i felt like saying...)

EDIT::: i also just relised why i wear white shirts all the time... and its because my grandpa wore alot of white shirts...(except he wore V-neck shirts with pockets over the left pecktorial muscle....) and i guess i just want to be as much like him as i can be...

You were very lucky to have a grandpa so lovingly involved in your life. What a wonderful gift. For both of you.
I can very much try to let you know, you are not alone.

With me/my family, it started around when I was 8. My grandpa passed away. The rents basically shielded me from the ceremonies/services.
A couple of years later, a young family member was murdered. That damn near tossed everybody over the edge.
BUT THEN another 2 years passes and my father dies!!!!
I was sure that was it. I was basically done with life at that point. I gave up because to me, there was no reason to even go on.
Somehow I managed to go on only to have my bosses 4 year old daughter die of cancer. (I'd known her before she was out of the belly). I didn't think I could take anymore. omg!
Then the kickers my best friend commits suicide. (I'll never figure that one out as he had a FANTASTIC family and life) and my other best male friend accidently (?) drove off a cliff.

That was all before I was 19.

Believe me. death doesn't stop and it could be any of us at any second.

How to deal with it?
Everybody mourns in their own way. Losing a loved one is insanely hard.

[Chronisseur]

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vv1sRFbsKDY[/YOUTUBE]


I hears this and thought of my peoples here at cannabis.com
Have a good day everybody!
(and bump this song!)