has anyone had to deal with the loss of a loved one?

[partyguy420]

i know theres a few people on here, that have lost very close family members... but i was just wonder how everyone has delt with the loss of those family members and friends....


for me... i basicaly started using alot of drugs and alcohal, to cope with loosing my grandpa, who made me the man i am today...

and started using more drugs when my cusian/aunt(we consider he our aunt because of her age, and also because of how close i am to her sons, her oldest one in perticular...)

but loosing my grandpa who basicaly raised me from birth... we lived with him, befor my parents got their own house... and even after we moved, my grandma and grandpa moved 2 houses away from were we lived at... and basicaly he would watch me and my siblings everyday while our parents were at work... and even after we started school... he would watch us, and when i needed a ride some place, he would give me a ride... or when i got kicked off the bus for good... he would wake up and give me a ride to and from school every day... he tought me everything i needed to know in my life(he wasnt good with schooling... but he knew how to drive trucks... how to fish... how to work on cars and trucks... how to weld... and how fix small motors..) and he tought me everything except how to weld... he tought me how to run the chain saws... how to mow a lawn and make it look nice... tought me how to drive... tought me how to gut a fish... tought me how to dress so i would look good... tought me how to cut my hair... hell he even tought me how to fucking pee....

he was a good man...

(sorry... i just needed to say somethings that i felt like saying...)

EDIT::: i also just relised why i wear white shirts all the time... and its because my grandpa wore alot of white shirts...(except he wore V-neck shirts with pockets over the left pecktorial muscle....) and i guess i just want to be as much like him as i can be...

partyguy420 Reviewed by partyguy420 on 08-13-2007. has anyone had to deal with the loss of a loved one? i know theres a few people on here, that have lost very close family members... but i was just wonder how everyone has delt with the loss of those family members and friends.... for me... i basicaly started using alot of drugs and alcohal, to cope with loosing my grandpa, who made me the man i am today... and started using more drugs when my cusian/aunt(we consider he our aunt because of her age, and also because of how close i am to her sons, her oldest one in perticular...) but Rating: 5

[sorgens_kammer]

I've been in that situation for a while... My dad died when I was in 8th grade and My grades went down, I stopped playing sports, and I lost a lot of my friends because I wouldn't hang out with them as much as I used to. I had a girl at the time, we dated for 3, almost 4 years and I also was a great thing that ended... that helped me cope with the loss of my father.

Then after we split I had time to just sit back and think about more people other than mine and mine girlfriends friends. So I slumped into drugs, and alcohol... Im doing a lot better now, I still smoke. It helps the relax me, but overall as a rough breakup ( we got back together once) it was a good experience for me to grow up I guess.

[slipknotpsycho]

yes, and i haven't (dealt with it).... i bottle it up and ignore it.

but, it's like sticking dry ice in a bottle of water, it only holds so much pressure before exploding. and it's not pretty when it does explode...

the one trigger that never fails is hearing limp bizkit's version of behind blue eyes... it was played at his funeral over and over and over and over... i couldn't get the song or the image of him laying there out of my head for months.

now for the past couple of years i've been plauged by nightmares. always the same but always diffrent... he's there and i'm always 10 seconds too late or 10 feet to far away to save him. what makes them so horrible is the fact that i feel the emotion in the dream... i feel that sickness in my stomach and the rush of sadness and disbelief i felt when my mom called me to tell me he was gone.

[ghosty]

Sorry this is long.. as I was typing it I realized I've just never really expressed how I felt about losing my grandpa... I dont expect anyone to read all of it.

I lost my grandpa who I was close to, when I was about 16, he was my only grandpa I ever really knew, as my other grandpa died shortly before I was born ... He had dementia, which led to his brain basically shutting down, it was really sad near the last few years to see him slip away more and more. I remember everytime, I came over, at one point we would have the same conversation. "What grade are you in again?", "Are your grades ok?", and finally "How old are you again?" It used to annoy me having to repeat it all the time, until I got a little older and realized how much that conversation meant to him. He asked those same questions, to me and all my cousins because it meant so much to him, that he never forgot. He wanted to keep it fresh in his mind, sometimes he even knew the answers, and would respond assuringly with "I thought so" . My mom and uncles didnt want me and my little cousins to see him on the condition he was in in the hospital because they wanted our memories of him to be of when he was looking better, so I never got to visit him before he died. He always had dementia through my whole life, but it wasn't as bad in my younger years, it got progressively worse as I got older. I have good memories of him when I was younger and he would take me places with my grandma... I love hearing the stories my grandma, mom, uncles and older cousins tell about him... Although I was only around for the later part of his life, I know he was a great man in his better days, he was the president of 2 hospitals at one point... he still was a great man for what I knew of him too... It was funny despite slowly having his brain and short term memory become null, he could still remember things from when he was younger, in amazingly vivid detail... like where he was exactly on many famous dates, even what he ate for lunch that day etc.. all of his stories were in such detail... He had to have had a photographic memory at one point.... I miss him a lot whenever I think about it, we all do.

R.I.P. Grandpa Frank


P.S. Slip, if you want help with them nightmares come find me on AIM... with a little help you could make those into positive dreams about your bro.

[slipknotpsycho]

it won't help, i know you probably think it would, but i would have to get over the guilt before anything would work, i do highly appreciate the offer so don't take it that way... i just know me, and the way my mind works very well... (i've been in psycho-therapy since i was 5 after all)

i have the nightmares becuase i feel guilty... i know it's not my fault (it's actually my dad's) but that doesn't stop me from feeling guilty... i'm the one who got him started on weed and that led down a very rocky road...

[ghosty]

it's all good man...i understand where your coming from, ive got some inner demons too

[partyguy420]

Sorry this is long..


....I have good memories of him when I was younger and he would take me places with my grandma... I love hearing the stories my grandma, mom, uncles and older cousins tell about him... Although I was only around for the later part of his life, I know he was a great man in his better days...

...he could still remember things from when he was younger, in amazingly vivid detail... like where he was exactly on many famous dates, even what he ate for lunch that day etc.. all of his stories were in such detail... He had to have had a photographic memory at one point.... I miss him a lot whenever I think about it, we all do.

R.I.P. Grandpa Frank
.

thats how my grandpa was... he never did develope demintia... (my grandma will tell you he did, but i talked to his doctor, whos also my doctor about him, and asked him stuff medicaly about my grandpa... and the doc said he wasnt even showing the begining stages of altimiser or dementia... just he had canser... and emphizema(SP?)...)but he used to tell us kids all kinds of storys about his younger days... like... were he was when presiden JFK died... he was in a brand new, tanker truck, hauling waste oil for a company(cant rember the name) and what road he was on... and what song was on befor the news broadcast came out over the radio... were he was going....

or... my grandma told me a story about some family being over at their house one time, and they were playing a card game... drinkin beer... and my grandpa got up to make some sandwichs.... and asked my grand uncle what he wanted on his sandwich... and my grand uncle said "everything" and my grandpa took that litteraly... and put everything that he could find that was edible in the fridge.... on his sandwich...

or you could ask him about the animals he had... and years ago... when i was about 1...(this is after we moved out of their house... and in with my dads mom) my grandpa and grandma moved to forks washington... and they had about a 5 pound cat... and when the thing mowed... it sounded like a mouse squeek...

and you could ask him about world war 2... and korean war... and he has storys about them... and how in the asian countrys... the walls of the jails were actualy paper...(or they were when he was over there)

theres also alot of storie about me and him... usaly fishing or cutting wood for the winter... never got to go hunting with him... but for the longest time... when i was planing my first hunting trip, i was going to dig up his body... and take his body hunting with me...

a few of the best memories with him... was spenging the night at his house on friday night... and waking up at 6 AM... watching the news, then driving 40 miles to civilization... and going to McDonalds for breakfast.... and on the mornings were i slept at my moms, and didnt wake up on time to drive the 40 miles to make it to McDonalds on time for breakfast... we would just go to the burgar barn (its the local fast food place were i lived at) and we would order bisquest and gravy.... or when we were younger... and my mom and grandma were both working like 90 miles away from home... my grandpa would make dinner... and every night was either mac and cheese with chili and hotdogs... rice and chilli... chili dogs... or frozen pizzas... TV dinners... or Pot Pies.... he was a simple old man... that knew how to make the kids happy....

after he died... everyone was expecting him to jump out of his casket... and go haha just kidding... cause he was a funny guy... and knew how to be as funny as a guy on comedy centeral... and thank god i was around him alot... because im able to make a joke out of anything because of all the time i spent around him....

he was also a defencive old man... if you fucked with his family... he was ready to load a gun... and he was prepared to go to jail... and the trueth of it is... he was....

thats a picture of his grave stone...(it says he was only in the marines... but he was also in the army... and it only says world war 2... but he was also in korea...)

[KoTToNMouThChRiS]

reading this brought me to tears because i lost my grandpa last year aroudn this time and i put most of the feelings from it away

[Chronisseur]

PartyGuy, Ghosty and Slip, you guys just made ME cry too!

This is the BEST thread EVER

[13thirteen]

Well my father just died a few weeks ago. The thing is he was not really that nice to me so his death is bittersweet. I really have no feelings about his passing. I felt worse when I lost my grandparents a few years back.