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08-10-2007, 12:55 PM #1Senior Member
Um.. sorta a freestyle, but its a rap.. Whatcha think?
It's cool for a poem-ish thing about our protest for legalizing cannabis. Rap has something in its written form called Structure, it is your setup, it makes it easier to read and more enjoyable. I'll show you an example:
I smoke 20 sacks after I eat,
order pizza and get a bag on my street//
Smokin' that shit with no Sticks-N'-Seeds,
Our nugs tight as fuck like Chicks-In-Jeans//
Call me up, hear the Bong-Bubblin',
Throw my tape in, get my Song-Rumblin'//
^That's a proper form of structure, I'm not trying to be an asshole I'm trying to make your art more enjoyable.
B.t.w, 1 bar = 2 lines, try spacing out your bars so your reader understands the rhymes at the fullest potential. I just add the "//" to indicate the end.CYRAX Reviewed by CYRAX on . Um.. sorta a freestyle, but its a rap.. Whatcha think? Alrite so hears my rap, i know i posted this on another thread but uh well. Tell me whatcha think? Be honest:) First Rap. I may be white, I may be young. Pick a fight ill show you what i do for fun. take a second to listen to me and maybe youll see im not a punk white kid you see around. Ask me to smoke and you know im down, down to smoke tell that bag is gone, down to chop a pile and smoke it through a bong. I know im high cause in a while my eyes will bleed red as fuck, thats what happens Rating: 5
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