Your thoughts: In the closet?

[Ganj]

A thought was stricken upon while I laid in bed this early morning. Many thoughts came but this one was persistent, as it has been menacing my mind since it first arrived, little under a year ago.

Determining my sexual orientation has become forefront in my thoughts, and as I laid in bed, the notion that I could engage a man sexually grew increasingly acceptable. However, I fail to see how simply accepting the notion would orientate my sexuality, as I do hope to have children someday with my wife. Now, this desire to procreate a child of whom is genetically enhanced with mine and my wife's DNA should be the determining factor of my sexual orientation.

So...as it is, I am accepting of homosexual intimacy, but not of homosexual marriage? I realize that artificial insemination is a possibility for homosexuals who do not want to adopt. And just the same as choosing a wife, homosexuals can choose a woman with desirable traits/characteristics to complete the artificial creation. However, I cannot entirely dismiss the woman as futile, because when it comes down to it, I want the mother of my child to assist in raising what is partly hers. I want my child to be able to observe what is biologically him/her. And if she dies or divorces me, then I will be gay. I'm having a difficult time with this. A little help please?

And try not to be presumptuous because this is a tender issue for me. Any inclining one way or another will flip my world upside down. So please, keep the responses thought-provoking and leave the final judgments to me. I'm trying to get people to walk me through this...or is it already resolved?

Better yet...be presumptuous! Tell me what you think.

Let the polls begin!

Ganj Reviewed by Ganj on 08-09-2007. Your thoughts: In the closet? A thought was stricken upon while I laid in bed this early morning. Many thoughts came but this one was persistent, as it has been menacing my mind since it first arrived, little under a year ago. Determining my sexual orientation has become forefront in my thoughts, and as I laid in bed, the notion that I could engage a man sexually grew increasingly acceptable. However, I fail to see how simply accepting the notion would orientate my sexuality, as I do hope to have children someday with my Rating: 5

[stinkyattic]

I'd say simply bi-CURIOUS with a lil' thing for the ladies. And NO, I don't mean you're hung like a tic-tac, lol.
Relax kiddo. Just be comfortable with who you are and where you're at- don't overthink things- if you need to go find yourself sexually, do it; but don't wreck a good thing because you have hit that mid-20's moment when you are all "OMG THIS is what life is? Stagnant? Oppressive?" It'll pass. Don't mistake feeling bogged down with wanting a new lifestyle sexually. It's entirely possible that all ya need to cheer you up is a career change, go back to school, some sort of change of scenery.

[spliffstar22]

your straight, that's that.......stop overthinking

[Breukelen advocaat]

.I've analyzed men and how hey act and it seems to me that the guys that are comfortable wth their sexuality do things that could be considered "odd" or "gay", when I'm sure they are not. For example, slapping another mans ass with tights on. like in football....lol

Personally, I think that the athletes who do that are a little light in the loafers.

[stinkyattic]

the Japanese Samurai felt there was nothing wrong with loving another man, especially out there on the battlefield.

In the Coast Guard that is referred to as "Maritime- Induced Gender Indifference"... :wtf:

tAnd I don't become sexually aroused by men, either...only when I watch football which is totally understandable..

Well DUH, spandex and buns? In all seriousness though studies have been done on male sexual responses to watching sporting events, particularly team sports, and found that there is an increase in sexual arousal particularly when your team is doing well- this wasn't linked to homosexuality, but they thought to a male warrior/hunter instinct. I was intrigued. No wonder sports bars are like the buffet-o-dudes when the Sox are doing well!

[40oz]

Think of it like this, you are only straight by default. When it comes right down to it, it just matters who you like more, men or women.

In ancient times having sex with another man or even a young boy was not looked at as homosexual or anything like that, it was all about the penetration, dominance and good feelings. Somewhere along the line making love with a partner of the sex was looked at as weird and gross.

Personally I don't get aroused by men, so I am not gay. If sex with men makes you happy, then go for it and trying to fight those feelings will make your life hell. Regardless of what the majority of our society may think homosexual sex is as natural as masturbation.

[Spoken Word]

Hmm. It's a difficult thing to respond to because I don't know you personally.

From what I've read, it seems to me that you accept your homosexuality. You just don't know how to live with it. You mentioned having a child, marrying and if a divorce happends....then you'll accept your homosexuality. which i think is.....wrong?. lol

i mean, you really have to see what excites you more. I've heard of men and specifically...BOYS that expierement with their sexuality to find out for sure. Try it. See if you can be with another man. I think you can because I watch football everyday and I see it as brutal, not anything that arouses me. the fact that you are aroused means you are looking for something sexual in the game. That says something.

I've analyzed men and how hey act and it seems to me that the guys that are comfortable wth their sexuality do things that could be considered "odd" or "gay", when I'm sure they are not. For example, slapping another mans ass with tights on. like in football....lol

now, maybe you haven't met that gay man that stimulates you to pursue a gay relationship. that would explain your not accepting gay marriage.

I say, stop worrying what OTHER people think of your sexuality and find out for yourself.

I think you are bisexual. because my male homosexual friends tell me that they can't even get hard enough to procreate with a female.
so if you can, i think it means you take a liking to females as well..
when it comes to your sexuality, see what "arouses" you faster and harder. lol
simply put.


i hope this isn't affecting your peace and pursuit of happiness.

[Ganj]

In the Coast Guard that is referred to as "Maritime- Induced Gender Indifference"... :wtf:

Well DUH, spandex and buns? In all seriousness though studies have been done on male sexual responses to watching sporting events, particularly team sports, and found that there is an increase in sexual arousal particularly when your team is doing well- this wasn't linked to homosexuality, but they thought to a male warrior/hunter instinct. I was intrigued. No wonder sports bars are like the buffet-o-dudes when the Sox are doing well!

That IS an interesting study. Spoken Word, when you put it like that...women arouse me "faster" and "harder," as you so eloquently put it. Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?

I could be looking for sex or I have played too much Madden with a Dual-Shock Playstation controller? Usually, the games ended in forfeit, as my arousal became something I needed to handle.

I just read an article about Homosexual OCD, and it seems the key difference is homosexuals are attracted to members of the same sex but may keep it secret, as homosexuality has become a "social stigma." So...I guess the big question is, "Am I attracted to members of the same sex?" However, the homosexual thoughts I have are typically unwanted and intrusive, so I fight them off which results in homophobic behavior, like avoiding contact with other guys due to anxiety and worry of what people may assume. The thing is I am strangely open-minded to the idea. I am repulsed by the thought of engaging another man but I do not want that disgust to be fuel for homophobia. And also, simply because I experience anxiety to homosexual thoughts does not mean I have "H" OCD.

The worry is unrelenting and to cast it away would be terrific but at the cost of my happiness? You all say I'm over-thinking things but maybe that is grounds for homosexuality or bi-sexuality? After all, I did say the thoughts grew increasingly acceptable.

If sexual preference is the determining factor for your sexual orientation, then I am heterosexual. However, I have come to this conclusion before and still the intrusive thoughts come. Symptoms of "H" OCD or am I failing to 'come to grips' with my sexuality?

[Ganj]

I really appreciate the responses. They were probably the best ones anyone could have asked for. The whole 'in the closet' thing was beginning to worry me. I don't know how the thought became prevalent in my mind, but it was as if I was being forced to feel something I didn't want to. Anytime someone would joke around about homosexuality, I felt strangely convinced that I was gay because of the way I reacted to the jokes. I believe now I can face the jokes and maybe add a little gay-ness to them myself. It's hard not knowing where you stand in all this. "Can I joke?" "Should I laugh?" "Am I gay?" "Are they gay?" I shaved my head because I was pulling my hair out!

I felt that since I was not totally comfortable with myself, that I may not be totally honest with myself either, and that was the fuel that powered the investigation. And, actually 40oz, the Japanese Samurai felt there was nothing wrong with loving another man, especially out there on the battlefield. And I don't become sexually aroused by men, either...only when I watch football which is totally understandable. When it all boils down, any act of homosexuality could be considered as an act of recreational companionship or it might physically repulse me, like bongman said. In the end though, my emotional needs will demand much more than just friendly sex.

[LuckyG]

I think everyone deals with homosexual feelings. I know I did when I was a teenager, especially towards men who helped me out during the period when my parents were getting separated. Turns out I like boobs more though, so I ended up straight.

Jokes aside, I think you're probably oversexed, if that is indeed a word - your sexual drive is at an all-time high, and your brain is seeing everyone around you as a potential partner. There's nothing wrong with that (I wish someone had told me that when it was happening to me) and it'll pass in time. Until then, go with what your gut feeling tells you.