i think if you spend alot of time debating it, it is quetionable. but then again somethings need to be questioned. sexuality and sex are somewhat mutually exlusive. i know this is retarded to say, but if you are gay and sleep with women it doesn't make you straight and vice versa.
all the questions you need answering you can. just give yourself time. there is a buddhist art through meditation where you ask yourself a question and wait in a relaxed calm medative like state till the answer bubbles up, maybe this will work.
it may be that you are inexperienced and the sex life you have with your wife is lacking, but you love her so the idea of sleeping wiht a man is more comfortable than the idea of cheating and hurting her.
i don't know im not you, its just the quote i repeated seemed like the only reason you remain straight is to have chilldren and to be with your wife. asif you are trapped in a life you feel you have to take.
i honestly dont know and no one on her does, but be honest and truthfull and no one can ask anmore

peace out brohter

snowblind