Your thoughts: In the closet?

[Ganj]

Thank you all for your knowledgeable responses. I am not the type to engage in meaningless debauchery, regardless of my libido. That could prove catastrophic, especially in my circle of friends. However, if I manage my sexuality responsibly then there will be nothing to feel guilty about...right, grazi?

I will make peace with my sexuality in time. That is certain. Thanks again for guiding me through this, you all. I feel slightly less criminal already. As for discovering my sexuality, I believe that will also come with time. I will know when I am ready. In the meantime, I shall try to find comfort knowing that gay thoughts are perfectly normal and are merely stimuli for an active...active libido. Or something like that?

[Breukelen advocaat]

It's obvious I'm having trouble facing this issue 'head-on,' as any inclining one way or the other leaves me discouraged and indifferent. I do not want to be gay, and I do not want be anxious or worry around my male friends. Where are those 'pearls of wisdom' when you need them?

By the way, thank you all. Somehow my threads manage to summon the most compassionate individuals. Your hearts must be made of gold.

I thought that there are probably many other males in the same boat as you, and it turns out that there is an online support group called People Can Change.

From their website:
People Can Change is a non-profit educational, outreach and support organization of men who have successfully transitioned out of unwanted homosexual attractions and increased their heterosexual identify, feelings and behaviors. People Can Change is not a religious ministry, nor is it affiliated with any religious faith or organization.

People Can Change - An alternative, healing response to unwanted homosexual desires

[stinkyattic]

Hm, I dunno BA... that creeps the living shit outta me.
Seems like 'hey, since we can't do electroshock therapy on ya any more... we'll invite you to join our CULT....'
Whatever happened to affirming who you really are? It's 2007... not 1807.

[birdgirl73]

That's for people who want to change, right, BA? I hope so. My hesitation with such an organization, even if it's not tied to one of those awful religion-affiliated "recovery"-like organizations, is the implication is that people need to change.

I tend to think people need to be who they are and be true to themselves. But I suppose there must be some percentage of folks who are motivated to change themselves. Still, I wonder if that motivation is borne of early conditioning/teaching and ideas about one way being right and another wrong.

[stinkyattic]

....the implication is that people need to change......
....I wonder if that motivation is borne of early conditioning/teaching and ideas about one way being right and another wrong.

There ya go, thank you for putting it so eloquently.

[Ganj]

That's for people who want to change, right, BA? I hope so. My hesitation with such an organization, even if it's not tied to one of those awful religion-affiliated "recovery"-like organizations, is the implication is that people need to change.

I tend to think people need to be who they are and be true to themselves. But I suppose there must be some percentage of folks who are motivated to change themselves. Still, I wonder if that motivation is borne of early conditioning/teaching and ideas about one way being right and another wrong.

That's why you asked about my background, right? In my family, I was never preached heterosexuality or taught to condone homosexuality. I guess the only "conditioning" has been the struggle with my sexuality in society.

[Breukelen advocaat]

That's for people who want to change, right, BA? I hope so. My hesitation with such an organization, even if it's not tied to one of those awful religion-affiliated "recovery"-like organizations, is the implication is that people need to change.

I tend to think people need to be who they are and be true to themselves. But I suppose there must be some percentage of folks who are motivated to change themselves. Still, I wonder if that motivation is borne of early conditioning/teaching and ideas about one way being right and another wrong.

I don't know - the People Can Change agenda does seem a little better than the religion organizations, but despite their claims of being non-religious, they managed to work "God" into it, complete with a "step" program that encourages "surrender". Some of it is undoubtedly good advice, for some people's problems. The hard part is weeding it out.

This is a link, found at People Can Change, which is another approach to these conflicts:
International Healing Foundation - Changing From Gay To Straight Is Possible

[LuckyG]

I think everyone deals with homosexual feelings. I know I did when I was a teenager, especially towards men who helped me out during the period when my parents were getting separated. Turns out I like boobs more though, so I ended up straight.

Jokes aside, I think you're probably oversexed, if that is indeed a word - your sexual drive is at an all-time high, and your brain is seeing everyone around you as a potential partner. There's nothing wrong with that (I wish someone had told me that when it was happening to me) and it'll pass in time. Until then, go with what your gut feeling tells you.

[Chronisseur]

Ganj, it sounds to me like you're only being %100 honest with yourself. For a while I started thinking I might be bi, but then realized it was just the change of thought process from "thats fuckin' WRONG" to "whatever floats your boat"! Really just sounds like a natural process of maturing to me. Either way, you sound smart, I'm sure you'll figure out whats best for you! Good luck and stop over-analyzing yourself

[stinkyattic]

If there is one word to describe out dear Ganj, it is 'smart'.
(oversexed runs a close second )