Your thoughts: In the closet?

[Ganj]

A thought was stricken upon while I laid in bed this early morning. Many thoughts came but this one was persistent, as it has been menacing my mind since it first arrived, little under a year ago.

Determining my sexual orientation has become forefront in my thoughts, and as I laid in bed, the notion that I could engage a man sexually grew increasingly acceptable. However, I fail to see how simply accepting the notion would orientate my sexuality, as I do hope to have children someday with my wife. Now, this desire to procreate a child of whom is genetically enhanced with mine and my wife's DNA should be the determining factor of my sexual orientation.

So...as it is, I am accepting of homosexual intimacy, but not of homosexual marriage? I realize that artificial insemination is a possibility for homosexuals who do not want to adopt. And just the same as choosing a wife, homosexuals can choose a woman with desirable traits/characteristics to complete the artificial creation. However, I cannot entirely dismiss the woman as futile, because when it comes down to it, I want the mother of my child to assist in raising what is partly hers. I want my child to be able to observe what is biologically him/her. And if she dies or divorces me, then I will be gay. I'm having a difficult time with this. A little help please?

And try not to be presumptuous because this is a tender issue for me. Any inclining one way or another will flip my world upside down. So please, keep the responses thought-provoking and leave the final judgments to me. I'm trying to get people to walk me through this...or is it already resolved?

Better yet...be presumptuous! Tell me what you think.

Let the polls begin!

Ganj Reviewed by Ganj on 08-09-2007. Your thoughts: In the closet? A thought was stricken upon while I laid in bed this early morning. Many thoughts came but this one was persistent, as it has been menacing my mind since it first arrived, little under a year ago. Determining my sexual orientation has become forefront in my thoughts, and as I laid in bed, the notion that I could engage a man sexually grew increasingly acceptable. However, I fail to see how simply accepting the notion would orientate my sexuality, as I do hope to have children someday with my Rating: 5

[snowblind]

And if she dies or divorces me, then I will be gay.

says it all really

[thcbongman]

I don't think you are gay, or will be ever gay.

You are only a lover at heart that has been temporarily jaded. When it comes down to it, an act with another man would repulse you.

People like you and me, romantics, we sometimes wonder too much because we aren't bound to conformity. When it comes down to it, I know deep down you know, you aren't close to being gay.

[snowblind]

i think if you spend alot of time debating it, it is quetionable. but then again somethings need to be questioned. sexuality and sex are somewhat mutually exlusive. i know this is retarded to say, but if you are gay and sleep with women it doesn't make you straight and vice versa.
all the questions you need answering you can. just give yourself time. there is a buddhist art through meditation where you ask yourself a question and wait in a relaxed calm medative like state till the answer bubbles up, maybe this will work.
it may be that you are inexperienced and the sex life you have with your wife is lacking, but you love her so the idea of sleeping wiht a man is more comfortable than the idea of cheating and hurting her.
i don't know im not you, its just the quote i repeated seemed like the only reason you remain straight is to have chilldren and to be with your wife. asif you are trapped in a life you feel you have to take.
i honestly dont know and no one on her does, but be honest and truthfull and no one can ask anmore

peace out brohter

snowblind

[spliffstar22]

your straight, that's that.......stop overthinking

[stinkyattic]

I'd say simply bi-CURIOUS with a lil' thing for the ladies. And NO, I don't mean you're hung like a tic-tac, lol.
Relax kiddo. Just be comfortable with who you are and where you're at- don't overthink things- if you need to go find yourself sexually, do it; but don't wreck a good thing because you have hit that mid-20's moment when you are all "OMG THIS is what life is? Stagnant? Oppressive?" It'll pass. Don't mistake feeling bogged down with wanting a new lifestyle sexually. It's entirely possible that all ya need to cheer you up is a career change, go back to school, some sort of change of scenery.

[40oz]

Think of it like this, you are only straight by default. When it comes right down to it, it just matters who you like more, men or women.

In ancient times having sex with another man or even a young boy was not looked at as homosexual or anything like that, it was all about the penetration, dominance and good feelings. Somewhere along the line making love with a partner of the sex was looked at as weird and gross.

Personally I don't get aroused by men, so I am not gay. If sex with men makes you happy, then go for it and trying to fight those feelings will make your life hell. Regardless of what the majority of our society may think homosexual sex is as natural as masturbation.

[Ganj]

I really appreciate the responses. They were probably the best ones anyone could have asked for. The whole 'in the closet' thing was beginning to worry me. I don't know how the thought became prevalent in my mind, but it was as if I was being forced to feel something I didn't want to. Anytime someone would joke around about homosexuality, I felt strangely convinced that I was gay because of the way I reacted to the jokes. I believe now I can face the jokes and maybe add a little gay-ness to them myself. It's hard not knowing where you stand in all this. "Can I joke?" "Should I laugh?" "Am I gay?" "Are they gay?" I shaved my head because I was pulling my hair out!

I felt that since I was not totally comfortable with myself, that I may not be totally honest with myself either, and that was the fuel that powered the investigation. And, actually 40oz, the Japanese Samurai felt there was nothing wrong with loving another man, especially out there on the battlefield. And I don't become sexually aroused by men, either...only when I watch football which is totally understandable. When it all boils down, any act of homosexuality could be considered as an act of recreational companionship or it might physically repulse me, like bongman said. In the end though, my emotional needs will demand much more than just friendly sex.

[Spoken Word]

Hmm. It's a difficult thing to respond to because I don't know you personally.

From what I've read, it seems to me that you accept your homosexuality. You just don't know how to live with it. You mentioned having a child, marrying and if a divorce happends....then you'll accept your homosexuality. which i think is.....wrong?. lol

i mean, you really have to see what excites you more. I've heard of men and specifically...BOYS that expierement with their sexuality to find out for sure. Try it. See if you can be with another man. I think you can because I watch football everyday and I see it as brutal, not anything that arouses me. the fact that you are aroused means you are looking for something sexual in the game. That says something.

I've analyzed men and how hey act and it seems to me that the guys that are comfortable wth their sexuality do things that could be considered "odd" or "gay", when I'm sure they are not. For example, slapping another mans ass with tights on. like in football....lol

now, maybe you haven't met that gay man that stimulates you to pursue a gay relationship. that would explain your not accepting gay marriage.

I say, stop worrying what OTHER people think of your sexuality and find out for yourself.

I think you are bisexual. because my male homosexual friends tell me that they can't even get hard enough to procreate with a female.
so if you can, i think it means you take a liking to females as well..
when it comes to your sexuality, see what "arouses" you faster and harder. lol
simply put.


i hope this isn't affecting your peace and pursuit of happiness.

[stinkyattic]

the Japanese Samurai felt there was nothing wrong with loving another man, especially out there on the battlefield.

In the Coast Guard that is referred to as "Maritime- Induced Gender Indifference"... :wtf:

tAnd I don't become sexually aroused by men, either...only when I watch football which is totally understandable..

Well DUH, spandex and buns? In all seriousness though studies have been done on male sexual responses to watching sporting events, particularly team sports, and found that there is an increase in sexual arousal particularly when your team is doing well- this wasn't linked to homosexuality, but they thought to a male warrior/hunter instinct. I was intrigued. No wonder sports bars are like the buffet-o-dudes when the Sox are doing well!