blonde

[king kong bong]

There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:

I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, the Blonde.

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.

The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note:

Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!

[king kong bong]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"

The blonde, after looking about, responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied, "She should; she was standing on it. Do you think she's dumb?"

"No. I guess I'm guilty of being influenced by all the dumb blonde joke e-mails we've been receiving."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

[Shelbay]

When God created man he decided he could do better and created eve.:smokin:

[esrabalamir]

lol

[hunny]

top Ten of things women would do if they woke up and had a penis for a day

10.. get ahead faster in the workplace

9... learn to stare with that "im undressing you" look

8... find out whats so fasinating about 'beating the meat'

7... pee standing up while talkin to other men at the urinal

6... determine WHY you cant hit the bowl of the toilet consistantly

5... find out what its like to be at the other end of a surging orgasm

4... touch/feel yourself in public without a thought as to improper it may
seem

3... jump up and down whilst naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny
as it looks

2... understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs
between a mans eye and the ruler situated next to the penis that
causes an extra 2 inches to be added to the final measurement

and the Number 1 thing is................................................ .................................................. .

1... get a blow job


blonde joke
-------------

a man was in his front garden mowin his lawn when he saw this attractive blonde female comin out of the house next door go to the mailbox slam it shut an walk bak in the house slammin the door...the man counts the woman doin this 3 times an when he got to edgin his lawn she appeared again ,,as she walks down the path he shouts to her "is there sumthin wrong"? to which she replies " yes there certainly is" my stupid computer says iv got mail

[BabyFacedAbortion]

So there's this blonde eating tuna one day, she looks at the can and it says "Chicken of the sea"; she turns to her handsom boyfriend and asks "So is it chicken or fish?"

...OH WAIT!!!!...


o.o

Brunette, represent

[hunny]

it aint about a blonde but i thought it was funny so here ya go lol


There's nothing worse than a snotty doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with a room full of other patients. Here's the way one old guy handled it.
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today ?"
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."
"Why not ? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with, the doctor in private."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes ?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir ?"
"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.

[pabloescobar209]

So there's this blonde eating tuna one day, she looks at the can and it says "Chicken of the sea"; she turns to her handsom boyfriend and asks "So is it chicken or fish?"

...OH WAIT!!!!...


o.o

Brunette, represent

Jessica Simpson said that, i remember seeing it and the look on Nicks face... expressionless followed by the thought of " why did i marry her? oh yeah the body... i feel better now"