blonde

[STDzRus]

A guy is building a building. He has one extra brick so he throws it up in the air.



NOW! I have another joke for you.
THESE are TWO totally seperate jokes.

A blonde is getting ready to jump out of a plane, she stops when she sees a brick.

[king kong bong]

A young blonde girl came back from school one evening. She ran to her mom and said, "Mommy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! That's good innit?"

"Yes darling, very good."

"Is that because I'm blonde?"

"Yes darling, it's because you're blonde."

Next day, the girl came back from school and said, "Mommy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! That's good, innit?"

"Yes darling, very good."

"Is that because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"Yes darling it's because you're blonde."

Next day, she returned from school and cried, "Mommy, today we went swimming, and well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!"

She flashed her impressive 36-D's at her mom.

"Is that because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No darling, it's because you're 25."

[STDzRus]

A young blonde girl came back from school one evening. She ran to her mom and said, "Mommy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! That's good innit?"

"Yes darling, very good."

"Is that because I'm blonde?"

"Yes darling, it's because you're blonde."

Next day, the girl came back from school and said, "Mommy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! That's good, innit?"

"Yes darling, very good."

"Is that because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"Yes darling it's because you're blonde."

Next day, she returned from school and cried, "Mommy, today we went swimming, and well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!"

She flashed her impressive 36-D's at her mom.

"Is that because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No darling, it's because you're 25."

HAHA!

[king kong bong]

A blonde finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray, "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it.

She again prays, "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and she still has no luck.

Once again, she prays, "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and the blonde is confronted by the voice of God Himself, "Sweetheart, work with Me on this, buy a ticket."

[king kong bong]

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"

She says "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "You have a broken finger."

[STDzRus]

LMFAO!

[king kong bong]

A blind man walks into a bar and after a couple of drinks yells out, "Who wants to hear a blonde joke?"

The place goes dead silent. After a few minutes a husky female voice on his left says, "Before you tell that joke you might want to know that the bartender is a blonde. The bouncer's a blonde. I'm a six-foot, two-inch blonde with a black belt in karate. The woman on your right is blonde and she's a professional weight lifter, and the woman next to her is a blonde professional wrestler. Do you still want to tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a moment and says, "Naw! Not if I have to explain it five times."

[STDzRus]

*side splits open*

[king kong bong]

In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks.

Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.

The blonde spins around and shouts, "Can't you see I'm winning?"

[king kong bong]

Three blondes are sitting in a bar chanting, "51 days." After a while the bartender says to them, "Ladies, for the past three hours you've been sitting here chanting '51 days'. Why?"

"Well," says one of the blondes, "we just finished a puzzle."

"So. What does that have to do with anything?" the bartender asked.

"Well the box says 3 to 5 years. We finished it in just 51 days!"