That young woman you're dreaming about is unhealthy and destructive, both for you and to the other men she gets involved with. Let go of her and stop obssessing. She's bad news. It's lovely that you like her kids and want to be friends with/have interaction with her children. I suspect that with her history, they're badly in need of a stable, loving male influence. But she's not the sort who's ever going to go for a guy who treats her well or is interested in a stable, healthy relationship. If you can be friends with her kids and serve as a consistent influence in their lives, then do that. But please avoid their mother like the plague and find yourself a much healthier, more relationship-able girl.