Rambling: 26 and never been in a relationship.

[Melkane]

I'm awake and can't sleep so thought I'd ramble on for a bit...

I've been on like 3 dates my entire life none of those were anything more than either a meal a movie and some talking. The only sexual contact I've ever had is contained in one 1hour period of my entire life that I got tired of waiting and went to a brothel, but while very enjoyable I just don't have the money to utilize that method.


It's not from a lack of wanting a relationship, or even a lack of trying. I have chased after those which I have really crushed on but there's something about me that prevents anyone from being romantically interested in myself. I know part of it is looks, I'm not an attractive man, I'm very much overweight and just not a "handsome" human specimen, however there is plenty of unattractive people that still find someone to love. So that's not all of the reason I haven't.

Though sometimes I think it may be for the best. I mean I really REALLY would like to have someone there that loved me for being me, someone there that I could be intimate with. But at the same time I very much enjoy my solitude and not having to worry about pleasing any other person. In fact I sometimes really wonder if I want a relationship or if I just want someone available for sexual relations. Personally if I could remove all sexual desire from my being. I would do so. To think of my life in it's current form of likes/dislikes if I could enjoy my life as it is now without the insanely strong desire for sex. I would be one of the happiest people on the planet. Personally I'm getting rather tired of my desire, of my hormones getting the better of me and causing me to develop crushes on various people throughout the years only to ultimately over and over again be disappointed to heartbroken that once again my feelings are one sided.

It's not something that can be just shut off though, so it becomes something that torments me...becomes a primal desire for myself that is never satisfied. It's actually highly frustrating to know that it's pure instinct. The desire to find someone is merely nature at work, it's something that we dont' get by choice, but simply because we live and it's programmed into our minds to find someone and pass on our genes. The irony of instinct/nature making me wanting/yearning to have sex or a relationship yet in reality I/myself don't want to procreate, don't want children. I sometimes feel to be able to look at some attractive person or sexually provactive situations and feel no yearning, no change in emotion in any way would be quite awesome. To simply not care about it would in of itself be just a great a gift as being granted a relationship.

Melkane Reviewed by Melkane on 07-29-2007. Rambling: 26 and never been in a relationship. I'm awake and can't sleep so thought I'd ramble on for a bit... I've been on like 3 dates my entire life none of those were anything more than either a meal a movie and some talking. The only sexual contact I've ever had is contained in one 1hour period of my entire life that I got tired of waiting and went to a brothel, but while very enjoyable I just don't have the money to utilize that method. It's not from a lack of wanting a relationship, or even a lack of trying. I have chased Rating: 5

[Ganj]

Well as old as I am, I've heard the pep talks and motivation speeches plenty of times. I found the motivation to quit smoking cigarettes because I really didn't like smoking and I didn't like how it was making me feel. However my weight problems stem from the types of foods I love and the hobbies I enjoy and I'm unwilling to give them up or drastically reduce them. I've never minded being overweight though since I quit smoking my weight skyrocketed upwards and while I'm definitely not happy with my current weight I don't see much I could do about it without changing my whole lifestyle around. I would love to lose about 100lbs. but it most likely never will happen. Besides I've seen plenty of fat guys get women.

The environment in which I would meet a woman is important to me, I don't want a "party girl". I hate parties and large amounts of socializing for the most part. Meeting some girl at party is likely to lead to a bad fit as most likely any woman I meet at said event went there because they like them. In reality the woman I need is going to have to be into the same stuff I am, gaming, movies, tv etc...and it's highly doubtful I'm going to see that woman at a party or at the bar or some place like that.


What's that intended to mean? :wtf:

I've never really got into online dating, I mean I've just considered them to be big scams for the most part. The few people that say they've had success with them I chalk up to pure luck.

What about an empathetic "party girl?" Would that better suit you?

[LegalizeTheGreen]

snowblind, dont worry about creatine, I have actually taken it as a supplement, and having high levels isnt bad for you. It is vital for the ATP energy cycle, and having more allows you to work you muscles harder. besides, if it was bad, the pro's wouldnt be taking it in super high levels.

now, related to this thread, I have given up on helping the OP. He doesnt want advice, he just wanted to bitch. If he doesnt wanna stop eating shit all the time, and chooses video games over real people, then let him lay in the bead he has made. have fun being a 40 year old virgin, because paying for sex doesn't count

[Fugitive]

The thing about socializing is you're going to have to do it, cut down on tv and video games because that makes you go into a trance and socializing becomes more distant. If you feel uncomfortable just think of all the socializing might eventually lead somewhere. Video games and movies are fun and enjoyable, I know I try not to watch tv because it works against you in the real world especially if you get caught up in all the series, what I try and do is watch something with a purpose, comedy to get me in a good mood, a movie with other people.

Junk Food is the last thing you want, in my experience junk food makes me feel like crap and is very addictive,
start off slow like healthy cereal, smoothies taste good, 2 or 3 liters of water every day. Have you're munchies and junk food if that's seriously the only thing you like just not as much as you used to.. maybe try healthier junk food lol maybe even get active? Excuse the lame quote but, no pain no gain, is very true its your choice to either reap instant rewards now or something more satisfying later.

Do not be picky with your women and look up forums and women gurus how to behave around women, and some men's clothes style forums.
You've probably heard it before and it's your choice to take it seriously or not, I'm not trying to lecture you JUST do it and don't complain here because in the real world people don't give a shit if you're unhappy and single you have to make everything for yourself.

[thcbongman]

I thought that if you find someone that truly loves you for you they'd look past such "superficial" things? The fact is if I were to alter my life to get into shape that would be such a drastic change that it would be changing who I am. Period. The things I do and enjoy have the drawback and to get into shape I'd have to completely stop them or drastically cut back. Sorry I'm not going to change everything about me just to get someone else to like me. And if I can't simply be myself and that be enough then I have EVERY right to complain.

What do you have to stop? I'm not telling you to stop anything. I'm suggesting you add. It doesn't require drastic changes. Baby steps man. Going for the moon will end up in failure. Bit by bit, build it up.

Sure a person eventually has to love you for who you are, but first you have to draw them in with some attraction. That's why it's important to look good, and show you take care of yourself. How are you expected to take care of a woman if you can't take care of yourself?

Something to ponder.

You have an animal inside you, you have to let out at some point.

[JD1stTimer]

Hey Malkane, I'm 27 and I'm in the same boat.. BUT a few years ago I actually started exercising and it only takes like 1 hour a day seriously it doesn't cut into your gaming or whatever. I also quit eating sweets and breads and pasta, basically a low carb, and it DID increase my testosterone. My hair started growing thicker, etc. Women started becoming friendlier and all that and I had lost about 70 pounds. I also just felt healthier and I started enjoying some of the activities I always thought were dumb. Then I had a lifestyle change and lots of things come up that were very stressful financially and I sorta fell off the wagon and gained back 30 pounds and I feel like crap again but I'm gonna get back on and this time it's gonna work better than ever. But for real, I'm not one of these naturally skinny guys who's acting like it's due to all their hard work or whatever when really they just do whatever they feel like and stay in shape. I know what you're going through (Not specifically but in general ) Oh yeah and I also have the really high sex drive, maybe it's a compulsion I beat it like five or six times a day most of the time. But I heard once that when you have a partner you stay good for a much longer period of time, like once a day would be enough. I don't know if that's true though.

[ombudsman]

Hey Dude, I know that life can throw you some tough blows, but there are things you can do to help yourself out. I think that the first step for you is to get your head in the right direction. Finding the right person is a difficult task that some people never complete. Not to get all psycho-analytical on you, but I think that you have a confidence problem, probably spurred on by your weight. I personally suggest that you go to the doctor and get some information on SSRI's (Selective Serotonine Reuptake Inhibitors). You can see your general doctor for this, no need to see a psychiatrist. I suffer from a confidence problem and they work wonders. A nice side bonus is that the one I take (Zoloft), decreases your appetite, so you will drop a few pounds right off the bat. Beyond that, getting some sort of cardio workout will exponentially help your weight loss. Appearances are important, because that is really where your first impression lies with. I know it sucks, but that is reality. You will find someone, but you really need to seek it out, because often, unless you are really lucky, your soulmate will not just appear on your door step. Getting into some activities will help you meet new people. This is especially true if you join a gym and get into some of the classes. You should not have to change your interests to make the other person fit, the relationship will fit naturally. I feel for you bro, but your problems are definitely not without solutions. Good luck!

[420MissHighTimes420]

Wow wanting to remove sexual desire? come on now! There is someone out there for everyone, don't give yup, some people don't meet the right person until they are 40 or even older, so hang in there, and be glad you were blessed with the gift of pleasure. never wish that to be taken away! You will get yours don't worry.

[Melkane]

I am in college, but not for gaming. I like to play the games, not make them. Game designers rarely get to sit down and actually play, they have insanely long hours and the average designer only gets paid like 30K a year. Which wouldn't be bad if it was a 9-5 job, but with all the long hours they are forced to work..totally not worth it. Game testers don't get to play through either, and usually spend most of their time replaying small portions of games over and over again looking for bugs.


As far as the lady I was with... hold on a moment let me check on something..wow it does still exist
NVBrothels.net Forum - Julie Love


..again HighTillIDie who is that in your avatar?

[HighTillIDie]

when i go to amsterdam, think i can get a hooker to let me donkey punch her?