I'm a 22-year-old virgin, and I can definitely feel where you're coming from. It can be extremely frustrating to know that most of your peers aren't virgins, to hear them go on and on about their sexual encounters, and to have this intense bodily urge to lose your virginity. I've been there, done that, way too many times than I care for.

But lately I've been seriously thinking about the real reasons why I've been a virgin so long. I certainly want to have sex very badly, but two things stand in my way.

The first is that I too have historically had poor social skills. I have had very few friends, and the friends I do have I don't interact with that much. As for women, I've never had a girlfriend. I just have no idea how to flirt with or hit on a woman. I wouldn't know how to act, what to say, or even where to go to meet one I would like.

The second thing is that I would feel like a dick hitting on a woman just because I want to get laid. I am a huge feminist, and I just don't have it in me to treat a woman like a sex object. I know that's what my peers do. They go out to the bars, hit on the girl with the nicest rack and try to take her home. But I couldn't do that. I don't want women to think I'm just another dude who wants to get in their pants, and I don't want to be just another dude who wants to get in their pants. Even though I am, I don't want to act that way.

I want a woman who is reasonably attractive, reasonably smart and who likes me for who I am. I don't want some slut who will spread her legs for somebody who flirts with her just to get her into bed.

I have had two opportunities to have sex, but I declined them both. Both were kind of chunky, rather unattractive alcoholics in their 30s whom I had only known for very short periods of time. On both occasions, they were flirting with me while intoxicated and were obviously interested in sex, but I didn't want that to be my first.

I may be desperate, but that doesn't mean I can't have standards, I guess. I'm going to wait until I'm at a point in my life where I can have a serious relationship (I'm going to be moving shortly, then moving again maybe a year or so after that, so it'll be a while). And I'm going to wait for someone I can really relate with on an emotional and intellectual level, not a drunk lady who just wants some random young cock.

I'm trying to look at the positive side of things. First of all, when I do get around to it it should be a lot more fulfilling. Secondly, I know for a fact I don't have any STDs. That blister between my nutsack and my leg, I know that was just a blister. And thirdly, women are a lot less likely to think I'm some perverted sex fiend when I tell future women that I was a virgin into my early 20s, or when I tell that first woman that I'm still a virgin.

And last but not least, I'm learning humility and self-discipline. Most men desperately want sex, need sex, and think women owe them sex. I know better. I can do without it, and when I do get it, it will be because I honestly earned it. I'm not going to pressure women to have sex with me. I'm not going to lie to get women to have sex with me. I'm going to just live my life until I meet someone who's interested in me for who I am, and we'll see where things go from there.