Asking out my best friends ex?

[Professor Dan K.]

Okay so im in this situation thats really bugging me, sometimes i lie awake at night just thinking about a solution.

So lately ive been hanging out with one of my friends alot, and were pretty close hang out alot and chill, just good friends.

:background story:

so his ex has been dating this guy for a couple years and after going to a festival with my friend just for fun, he got real pissed and they broke up. my friends been trying to get back together with her for a while and it went into the beginning of the summer.

:a month ago:

so me and my friend are hanging out and hes gettin pretty worked up about this girl. theyve been hanigng out and all, but she might have got back with her ex and he was real upset. later he told me he was done with her... dunno if i buy that.

:my situation:

ive had a huge crush on this girl since 9th grade, shes amazing, gorgeous, funny and shes basically a hippie and goes to alot of festivals and does alot of drugs like me lol. thats not the important part tho, thing is i just really like her.

now, the guy is one of my best friends, and i really dont wanna fuck anything up between me and him, which i think is possible if i ask her out. but at the same time he dated her for a really long time and i really just want a chance to be with her.

i dunno what to do about it, im so torn right now it hurts to think about it.

what i want to do is talk to him about it, say "hey man i really like her would you mind if i asked her out? if your not cool with it thats fine i understand, but if your cool with it id like to, just answer me honestly"....

i dont know how well my plan will work out but im tired of feeling guilty talking to her and texting her behind his back...

what do you guys think? am i an asshole for wanting this? will he hate me if something happens between me and her? what should i do?

Professor Dan K. Reviewed by Professor Dan K. on 07-29-2007. Asking out my best friends ex? Okay so im in this situation thats really bugging me, sometimes i lie awake at night just thinking about a solution. So lately ive been hanging out with one of my friends alot, and were pretty close hang out alot and chill, just good friends. :background story: so his ex has been dating this guy for a couple years and after going to a festival with my friend just for fun, he got real pissed and they broke up. my friends been trying to get back together with her for a while and it went Rating: 5

[reality0]

bros over hoes man...



i don't really like that saying... but its well known for a reason... :jointsmile:

[CUPNOODLES]

DO U LIKE HER 4 WHO SHE IS OR 4 WUT SHE DOES?? EX: "SHE DOES ALOT OF DRUGS"=WUT SHE DOES....IF U LIKE HER FOR WHO SHE IS THEN GO 4 IT IF U LIKE HER 4 WUT SHE DOES THEN BROS OVR HOES MY FRIEND

[Quinn The Eskimo]

lol, but seriously, your friend will lose it and get mad at you. There will be bad losses if you ask her out, so you need to decide what you care more and act on that.

[Professor Dan K.]

no its not for what she does... that could just lead to some interesting times between us later on if something happens.

i do really like her, i spent alot of time with her the few months before school ended and i got to know her and shes really easy to talk to and get along with.

i think she might be interested in me too beacuse ive talked with her for a while and texted her for hours too, like she hasnt really blown me off or told me she has to go or anything.. dunno if that holds any weight but i feel like theres a connection between us and i think that something could happen between us.

[rebgirl420]

Thats a big "NO". Friends dont date other friends ex's. That could be potentially really messy and bad. Because even if he has a flicker of feelings for her that jealousy could tear you guys both apart.

[slipknotpsycho]

no no no....

ask yourself this.... are you realy willing to lose your friend over asking his ex out? if not... i'd suggest EXTREMELY highly you detour from it.... some people are ok with, and others say they are but youf ind out elsewise later....

the problem is you never really know it's too late... 20 years down the line you may say to him "man i was thinking about asking her out, but i didn't want to hurt our friendship.." to which they respond... "omg dude! you should have i wouldn't have gaven a shit......"

of course, there's always a 50/50 chance you do get with her and he comes at you with "tha'ts low man.... i can't belive you'd do that...."

[slipknotpsycho]

oh yeah there are plenty of girls out there.... i know in my younger days i'd of went out with anyone... just cuz i was desperate.... but looking back on it.. i'm glad i didn't have this type of oppurtunity.... it's just not a smart thing to do...

i can almost garuntee 100% right now that won't be the girl you spend your life with... so don't go for it... your friend could easily be at your death bed.... i'm not much for being misogynistic, but in this case... fuck her (not in a literal sense) all it has instore for you is pain and suffering.... (that's exlcuding the fac tthat she will likely tell you ever last thing that her ex did, that you do, that pisses her off or find anyw ay to interject him...

ultimately it's your decision... but as a caring individual, a person who prides their self on practical advice of this site, and your friend..... DON'T DO IT.... i promise you itw ill be nothing but trouble.

[Professor Dan K.]

ugh... i hate this, shes been on my mind for like 4 years, and i just started to get to know her pretty well this year.

i dont think its something i want to break my friendship with him over but i cant help it i like her...

god damnit i know i shouldnt do this, he was such a wreck a month ago

[rebgirl420]

You can like her and think about her but dont tell your friend.