Man I Feel for you people, I have some major dissociation going on right now too. Ive had a couple rouf years going through some bad depression after I quit my job and got a bunch of tickets. Basicly my life went to shit, So I totally felt worthless and tried to die. Well anyways after lots of spaceing out and shit from delusionment People would just fuck with me all the time and I felt like I couldnt go anywhere without being thought a nut. I was practicly psycotic so I isolated myself a lot. When I did get out Id be so spaced out from being distraut people would just give me more shit so I got really insecure. Id worry about how people where going to think about me. I got on benzos but sence I like to get really high Id take more than what I need puting me in lala land. I tried slowing down and taking things easy, starting small, trying to think rationaly. But Ive always had a shitty self esteem so I started drinking. Thank god my family was around or I wouldnt be here. So sence weed was making things worse for me at that point I had to quit, after all I was smoking way too much. It just added to the parinioa, insecurity, disliusionment,. I Tryied letn go and just relaxen but I was broke and I basicly pushed all my friends away. So sence being bored and alone made things really bad I just kinda stopped caring. I went to my side jobs which I was working to pay off my fines and a lot of outstanding bills and just came home. Things were really rough being boerd, but I was becoming more stable. I still dont feel apart of reality, but most of that is due to the fact Im not getn out. Its gonna be along time b4 I can get back to enjoying life. I gotta pay of some tickets, then turn myself in, go to jail, get out and get a job, then get a new life and friends. Lately Ive been getting high no problume, It deffinetly has been improving my mood. When I can smoke In a comfortable setting and enjoy in peace its a major uplift for me. I dont get all freaked out and uncomfortable. Damn that was a lotta typing, anyways yeah I guess Im more responcible with my smoke now.