Right now it's a lot of negative thoughts... I'm leaving this town, and it seems that it's throwing up all the shit and regrets that ever bothered me from day one of my life, even stuff that I've forgotten, and I have to deal with it all over again.

I'm working hard on focussing on the good stuff though. Not a lot of variety happens in my life, so any experience, good or bad, is a long time coming, and I have to grab ahold of the few good things and not let go of them.

There was a time, between a month and three months ago, that I felt happy, and felt really good about myself. I wish I could have kept myself in that state, but for some reason it faded away. I'll get it back yet.

Right now I have to go buy some gardening supplies. Getting all that together is a good feeling.