21 is so young! Oh, I wish I could re-live those years again (but only knowing what I know now, and with my current career and savings, haha). I think you are going to go through a lot of "numb" times for the next ten years. Life doesn't really kick in with rewards I think, until you are in your late 30's early 40's - everything else is just sort of figuring out who you are and what you like to do. Plus, who says that feeling peaceful and detached is bad? Maybe you should enjoy this now, because when you get older and have to be all grown up, you'll look back and go "wow, I should have lounged around and felt nothing a bit more!"