Hey guy, you sound alright to me. No worries your not gonna lose your head.
You'll be just fine. In fact a buddy of mine just asked me the other day weather or not other people had inner monologues. We were cahtting about it for awhile. I say relax.

Take the world as it comes.

Mabe you should even clean up for a month or two, then go to the docs'. And if theres no hurry, make it a period of time you have no money anyhow.