No offense to your mom, but it sounds like she has held on too long. My mom was the same way, always complaing about my decisions because, "She didnt want me to end up like her." And, yeah, I understand, but you just gotta let go. Let your kids make their on decisions, let em fuck up, and when they do, sit down and have a real conversation.

Trust me, I've gone through a very similar thing. But, I learned a little saying, thats helped me through life. My wrestling coach told me this when i was like 9 or 10. "When someone starts to piss you off, just let it go in one ear and out the other."

EDIT: Btw, long hair, or short hair. My grandma had 3 long hair when I was a kid. Grimmie, Mia, and Katie, damn lil piss machines.