Quote Originally Posted by Gippie
Yeah, you're having episodes of violence which aren't of your control... that's interesting. Since you've had bad experiences with psychologists before [I personally refuse any drug they try to give me, and only use it as a chance to discuss my diagnosis, so it's a bit different...], you should probably do self diagnosis. I'd suggest looking up your symptoms and co-relating it to something, at least to give you a basis. I only suggest this because, if you know that there's a diagnosis for what you're going through, then you know 1) people other than you have gone through it [that's always a releif for me] 2) You're not going insane
and 3) Finding tips on coping and getting better.
Other than that, I suggest, like most others, eat healthy, try to stay positive, excersise daily, just stay in the best shape possible. Meditate, relax ... etc.

I'm a very impatient person [like you] and it fustrates me some times beyond beleif, but I don't act on it. Do you find that you have absolutely no control over your actions? Or do you just get ideas but not so much act on them??
I think 99% of the time, I have total control of my actions. I definitely get ideas of shoving someone out of the way because they are slowing me down, but I shake it off that thinking error, and don't act on it.

but it's those few moments that I lose clarity. I can be calm 99% of the time, but all it takes is one time.

And that's the weird thing. I exercise obsessively, I eat healthy, I usually have a positive mind-set. I do utilize meditation, it helps in my overall focus, but not for these episodes. I try to relax, but I don't ever feel relaxed.

I just don't want to feel like I'm hiding anything anymore. I don't think I laugh alot anymore. I feel I'm becoming more isolated socially, more than I normally am.