Yo to all.

I just need to put this into words somehow and maybe people could give me some advice. I'm coming up to the 3rd year of my first real relationship with the one girl i've ever slept with. We're both really happy except it seems for one issue that keeps coming up. My girl had a tough childhood and some tough times at school (including the first year of our primary school, of which we both attended in the same year, kinda how we first met). We both fell for eachother hard after getting together on my 18th birthday and it's been great ever since. I love her a lot and she loves me too, we both agree that the time spent together has been the best in our lives thus far.

The only problem is she likes to talk about the future a lot, in particular our future. It's not really serious when she does, just a jokey, playful comment about how she can't wait to marry me, or can't wait to move into a house and have a bagillion babies. Jokey shit like that. The problem with it is I don't like to think too far ahead, particularly at this time in my life when i'm scared to death of entering the real world and trying to find a career in music (one of the hardest careers to establish). Sometimes when she makes a joke or starts to talk about the future sentimentally, I visibly tense up, of which she translates negatively as a relationship thing.

She is an amazing and strong person but also quite fragile emotionally, particularly after the rough shit she's been through. The dilemma is, I feel at this stage in my life I would prefer to make no plans for the future and enjoy the ride of university, something you only get to do once. This simply means I would like to take shit as it comes. In her head this means I have plans that don't involve her. While this is not the case at all, it's becoming more and more apparent that she needs that reassurance in the form of promises and devotions, something I would rather not do. Not because of any lack of faith in our relationship, simply because I have no idea what's going to happen. I just feel more relaxed in my "now" bubble instead of thinking about the grim reality of becoming an adult.

I have explained this to her many times but, like I said, it seems she really needs that reassurance, which I don't feel comfortable giving her. She sees it as, to put it bluntly, me planning on breaking up with her. Nothing could be farther from the truth, it is just a simple, human contrast of our views on life. I just don't know how to handle it. I wish she could just relax and share my perspective. It doesn't mean anything negative for us, it just means going with the flow and tackling issues as they come instead of needlessly planning years into the future.

It gets her down because her thoughts run wild and she reads a million things into it. It gets me down because i've been there for her every single time she's needed me to be and yet she pressures me emotionally with this issue that really shouldn't be an issue at all.

Is there any advice people can give me here? I'd like to know what the ladies of the boards who have experience with long terms relationships think. It might be alright if I just went along with the jokes/half-jokes and told her I was planning on marrying her, but that's just not me and i'd be lying to her. I just want us to see eye-to-eye and for her to know that it's not something that she needs to take apart in her head. I love her more than ever.

Cheers.
B.Basher Reviewed by B.Basher on . Relationship issue (female input appreciated) Yo to all. I just need to put this into words somehow and maybe people could give me some advice. I'm coming up to the 3rd year of my first real relationship with the one girl i've ever slept with. We're both really happy except it seems for one issue that keeps coming up. My girl had a tough childhood and some tough times at school (including the first year of our primary school, of which we both attended in the same year, kinda how we first met). We both fell for eachother hard after Rating: 5