You are going through what I imagine is your first really heartbreaking time. It's incredibly painful to have a marriage fall apart so quickly....trust me, I know. Within a moment of time you feel hurt, hopeful, humiliated, anxious, angry, deceived, loving, lonely, caring, frustrated, nurturing, tormented, depressed, confused, and hopeless....all jumbled together.

I shared your pain of having been deceived. That is a very lonely road to walk. I wish we lived close by one another so that we could talk over a cup of coffee.

There were some definite signs of trouble at the outset. Coming from a family that never discusses sex or intimacy is a strong indicator that she is not capable of evolving into that type of person. We most often tend to mimic what gave us comfort as we were developing our personal beliefs. That is usually family members, namely parents.

I suggest that you consider counseling for yourself, not just for the two of you. You are going to experience some very baffling emotions over the next few months, regardless of how things evolve. Long before you can begin to understand what she is thinking, you need to be secure in what you are feeling and thinking. Consider taking care of you for now. You can't really take the responsbility of both of you on your shoulders. But you can begin to learn more about yourself to make you feel more comfortable with whatever comes of this.

I wish you the very best my friend. If I can ever be of help, feel free to look me up. Take care of yourself, and don't be afraid to feel all the emotions that will come up inside of you. Everything you experience, and most importantly how you react to it, is what will make you the man you ultimately become.

Onward!