That's a tough one, jygf77. I definitely don't think a divorce is in order because of that alone--unless, of course, this is just a symptom of a much larger problem between the two of y'all. Something about the fact that she's saying she doesn't want oral anymore either and wants a break in both directions sends up red flags that she's unhappy with some aspect of herself, with her sexuality or with the physical intimacy between you two and is using the "spiritually/emotionally unhealthy" reason as an excuse.

Something's obviously wrong that she could use some help with. Has y'all's sex life been good until now? Is she basically proposing that your sex life now simply be limited to intercourse alone? Also, do you know if she's ever been the victim of any type of abuse or assault? I may anger some of our arch-religious members here, and I apologize in advance if I do, but I fervently believe that oppressive religious programming about right and wrong/good and evil is in itself a form of abuse; it's programming that later results in physical and mental uptightness every bit as much as sexual assault can.

If getting head is real, real important to you, and I've never yet been acquainted with a guy for whom it wasn't, tell her that. Ask if she might be willling to work together with a counselor about the sex issues. An astute counselor, particularly one who's not affiliated with a religious institution, could help pin down what's really up with her in just a few sessions.

I tend to agree with az666 that you shouldn't base your relationship entirely on getting oral sex. But I strongly believe that in a sexually healthy marriage, wives and husbands who love each other need to make every effort to accommodate their partners, even when it shakes the boundaries of their comfort zone. I truly can't imagine my sex life with my husband without that particular activity. It's one of the best ways I know of to let him know I love him--and to keep him happy and satisfied with me.