My wife wants to stop oral sex

[slipknotpsycho]

honestly, the more you tell us, the worse it gets.... i think you should honestly really sit down and think long and hard about this... from my point of view, this marriage isn't heading in a very good direction.... it actually kinda seems to be derailing...

from what i gather, basicly she's expecting you to be everything she wants you to be, and her compromising is out of the question...

not say tha'ts right, that just SEEMS like the way this is heading.... neither of yal really seem to be open and truthful, which makes it even worse... since the sole major characteristic of any marriage to succeed is openess and honesty... if you don't have that, you don't really have a marriage... you just have a documented higher priority girlfriend/boyfriend situation...

forgetting yal aren't even on the same page on like.... anything, if this marriage is to work, both of you are going to have to become very up front, and very honest and open and clear about what you think/feel. at this point, that's about the only hope you have at this point.

as for the love... love is one thing, but is she the one? i 'loved' quite a few girls before i met my wife, who is my one... i thought i'd love them forever too and i couldn't of ever imagined being without them at the time... but i'm not now.. .and i'm also happy now...

is she the one? you shoudln't even have to think to answer.... when you meet the one, you know they're the one, you can say with 100% conviction that they are the one without even the slightest pause or doubt...

can you say that about your current wife?

[onwardthroughthefog]

You are going through what I imagine is your first really heartbreaking time. It's incredibly painful to have a marriage fall apart so quickly....trust me, I know. Within a moment of time you feel hurt, hopeful, humiliated, anxious, angry, deceived, loving, lonely, caring, frustrated, nurturing, tormented, depressed, confused, and hopeless....all jumbled together.

I shared your pain of having been deceived. That is a very lonely road to walk. I wish we lived close by one another so that we could talk over a cup of coffee.

There were some definite signs of trouble at the outset. Coming from a family that never discusses sex or intimacy is a strong indicator that she is not capable of evolving into that type of person. We most often tend to mimic what gave us comfort as we were developing our personal beliefs. That is usually family members, namely parents.

I suggest that you consider counseling for yourself, not just for the two of you. You are going to experience some very baffling emotions over the next few months, regardless of how things evolve. Long before you can begin to understand what she is thinking, you need to be secure in what you are feeling and thinking. Consider taking care of you for now. You can't really take the responsbility of both of you on your shoulders. But you can begin to learn more about yourself to make you feel more comfortable with whatever comes of this.

I wish you the very best my friend. If I can ever be of help, feel free to look me up. Take care of yourself, and don't be afraid to feel all the emotions that will come up inside of you. Everything you experience, and most importantly how you react to it, is what will make you the man you ultimately become.

Onward!

[couch-potato]

Unless it's a romantic surprise dinner complete with a violin player and a fine bottle of wine in an ice bucket, you don't hide things from your wife. Ever. That's just begging for bad news. Work out your issues now, don't postpone it man.

[Ganj]

She's sort of religiously conservative or whatever. She said she thinks it might be "unhealthy" (like spiritually/emotionally). I never asked for it often... maybe once or twice a month... even though I'd like it more. And I go down on her just as much as she does me. But she said she doesn't want me going down on her any more, and wants to "take a break" from going down on me, and "maybe" well do it again in the future.

This has caught me way off guard. I told her okay since I don't want to force any sort of sex on anyone... and knowing she hates it will spoil it for me anyway. But inside I want to fucking explode. I don't know what to do.

Don't mess with anyone's spirituality. And if she would like to cease oral sex, then I believe you should respect her feelings. We all know too much love has been lost thanks to selfish people who fail to adapt to change. Be flexible, perhaps after awhile the act of giving a blowjob wont be as taboo as it is for her now?

[Anubis10012007]

i was going to flame you then decided against it..

i will however say that's kind of a retarded thing to say... the divorce bit.... for some people staying single is the best option...

I appreciate your honesty, but I am a realist and this is a clear sign. :wtf:

[birdgirl73]

I appreciate your honesty, but I am a realist and this is a clear sign. :wtf:

Realist that you believe you are, it's a sign of trouble rather than a sign of divorce. There's a big difference. No one looking in from the outside can tell a married couple "Well, this means divorce," because you're not in that marriage. You don't know of their level of love for one another, and you're discounting the fact that they made vows and are legally committed to one another.

Trouble? Yes. Divorce? Only they themselves say their problems are a sign of that if and when they've decided the problem can't be addressed or compensated for in some other way.

[Darth Vapor]

you never go ass to mouth!!!

Hahahaha... glad somebody got that. :smokin:

I believe this is a first. Yes, Darth Vapor, you are the first person that I have seen use the term "zeppelin" it it's literal meaning.

I even know what dirigible means. Would somebody please help me brush this dirt off my shoulder?

[MadSativa]

wow I just read all of this and after thinking about it I am noway the one who could give help advise but I dont under stand how someone could not want to give oral sex to their partner. After meeting and getting the introductions and intentions outa the way one of the first things I think about is "what does she taste like"? Mabey its the predator, or the beast in me...... I dont know, just sounds....imp: not good.

[Kottonmouth Prince]

does she like when u go down on her if she does say u aint doing it till she does

[bangbilo]

I have been dating my girlfriend for about 1 year and 2 months and when i first met her she wouldn't even kiss me.. infact she HATED kissing.. it was just a subconscious thing she had were she felt insecure about kissing. and now its the only thing she wants to do when she's around me.. i have even got her to start french kissing.. and she enjoys it very much.

She was originally the same way about giving me oral sex. But today she enjoys doing it and will often times just surprise me with it. I think its important that you voice your opinion and try to discuss what the cause of this new change of pace is all about..

anymore i just look forward to the week in which my girl is having her period (blowjob week)