BALTIMOREā??A team of researchers at Johns Hopkins University have found a link between the consumption of dog urine and the decreased likelihood of heart attacks, researchers announced Tuesday.
"Our research indicates that by drinking six to eight glasses of fresh dog urine per day, individuals can reduce the risk of cardiac arrest by as much as 70 percent," said Dr. Arnold Minton. "This abundantly available material contains magical cardio-fluxo-medicines that strengthen the heart's mitral chambers and help keep its four aortic corridors clear of toxins and other such harmful substances."
Dr. Dinesh Patel explained the origins of the six-hour study.
"I noticed that my dog had never had a heart attack, and I'd never heard of a dog having a heart attack, so I realized that there is what scientists call 'a cause-effect phenomenon' at work here," Patel said. "Well, it turned out it's their urine."
Dr. Leonard Weiscz outlined the team's recommendations for those wishing to diminish their chance of a potentially deadly myocardial infarction: "Get yourself a dog, ideally a Labrador retriever, as the Ph level is optimal in this particular breed, and then train it to urinate into a bucket," Weiscz said. "Then, when the bucket is three-quarters to four-quarters full, lift it to your mouth and chug as quickly as you can."
According to the Johns Hopkins team, for maximum effectiveness, the urine should not be mixed with any other substance.

"Drink it straight," said Dr Weiscz, "Don't mix it with anything, not even water."
the scientists revealed more of their findings, including their suggestion that the urine be consumed "right out in public."

"It's also important to yell out, 'Ah, that's some tasty dog pee!' as soon as you're done," said Dr. Minton, "I should know. I'm a trained medical professional."
Dr HaZzMatT Esq. Reviewed by Dr HaZzMatT Esq. on . Dog Urine Lowers Heart-Attack Risk BALTIMOREā??A team of researchers at Johns Hopkins University have found a link between the consumption of dog urine and the decreased likelihood of heart attacks, researchers announced Tuesday. "Our research indicates that by drinking six to eight glasses of fresh dog urine per day, individuals can reduce the risk of cardiac arrest by as much as 70 percent," said Dr. Arnold Minton. "This abundantly available material contains magical cardio-fluxo-medicines that strengthen the heart's mitral Rating: 5