Rude jokes

[cannabis campbell]

Jesus, give me 2 mins im gonna try and find a microscope to read that.

[WEsmokeED]

One morning there is a woman taking a shower and she hears the doorbell ring. Knowing that her husband is still in bed she decides to answer it herself. So she grabs a towel and opens the door. She opens the door to find her husband's friend steve. Steve pulls out five one hundred dollar bills and says i'll give you all this money if you drop that towel right now and let me have a look. So the lady drops her towel, takes the money, and closes the door. When she walks back to her bedroom she finds her husband awake who asks "Who was at the door?" "Steve" she replys. "Oh" says the husband, "Well did he have my $500?"

[cannabis campbell]

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

[Oneironaut]

A guy goes to a psychiatrist wearing nothing but Saran Wrap, and the psychiatrist says "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts!"

[WEsmokeED]

hahaha thats funny ^

So three guys, Tom, Steve, and Bob are shipwrecked on a tropical island. After several days they are exploring the island and are captured by a group of native tribal people. They are taken to the head of the tribe who tells them that if they each complete two challenges he will let them go and if they fail they will be killed. The men realize they have no other choice and accept the challenge. The kings tells them that the first challenge is to go out into the jungle and bring back ten peices of any type of fruit they choose. So the three men leave and Tom returns first with ten apples. The king then tells him that the second challenge is to stick all ten fruits up his ass while keeping a straight face. Faced with no other choice Tom begins. After 3 apples the pain is so bad Tom cant hold back, and is killed by the tribe. Steve then shows up with ten cherrys and the king explains the second part of the challenge to him. So steve starts....1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8...and then begins laughing uncontrollably. The tribe kills him and he goes to heaven where he meets up with Tom. Tom ask "what happen man you almost had it why did you start laughing?" Steve replys " Because I saw Bob coming with ten pinnapples!"

[cannabis campbell]

Lmfao!!! That ones hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLLLLLL ^^

[palerider7777]

well heres one this lil boy got a new bike and was riding it in the street and the lil girl acroos the street saw him and went in crying to her mom. so the next day he went out to play she had the same new bike.

so he went and got another toy and the next day she would have the same thing. so finely he walks over to her and drops his pants and starts shakin his dick and said haha u can't have one of these.

so she runs inside crying and told her mom what happened then comes back out smiling and the lil boy says whats so funny she points to her crotch and says my mommy told me with one of these i can get all those i want

[jdmarcus59]

only the hilarious ones here

One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice.
Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?"
"Nope," replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."

lol ha ha love it.

[palerider7777]

this miner lived out on his land and was runnin low on supplys so he asked his 10 year old daughter if she wanted to come along to get the supplys she says ok so the head off to town and load up the wagon full of the supplys and start to head back home then half way home a band of robbers stoped them at gun point and demanded them to hand over everything so the miner gives everything over and the robbers road away and the miner looks over to see if his daughter was ok only to see her putting on all her jewelry and he said how did they not find all that she points to her twat and says i put it in her to hide it the miner cusses and says damn we should have brought ur mom we could have hidden everything

[birdgirl73]

The prevailing theme in here is proving to be sexual, so I'm going to move this to that forum.

Jokes involving racially themed funnies present possible trouble, OK? Try and keep them rude, crude, funny, and free of what might be regarded as potential slurs against other ethnicities.