First 3 good jokes get repped

[cavmanfotwent]

whats the difference between a black person and a bench? a bench can support a family haha( im not racist but i think its funny )

cavmanfotwent Reviewed by cavmanfotwent on 07-10-2007. First 3 good jokes get repped 3 good jokes for reps feeling generous Rating: 5

[cannabis campbell]

Billy was on holiday in America and didn't speak very good English. It was his last day and he was heading to the airport to fly home, but first he needed to buy a few things.

He ends up going to the store and asking the clerk for some "BUM". She sits there and thinks for awhile and then says, "Oh you must mean gum."

Then he goes to the fish store and askes if he could get some "FUCK IT". The fish man thinks and says, "Oh I get it, you must mean Bucket (bucket of fish)"

Billy shakes his head as YES.

Then he makes a trip to the pet store and says, "Could I get a cock and spank it?" The pet store owner says "Oh you must mean Cocker Spaniel."

Billy shakes his head YES.

He finally makes it to the airport where he will be catching his flight.

When he gets there he askes this guy...

"Could you hold my bum and fuck it while I get my cock and spank it"

[CYRAX]

One day a man was golfing, his swing drove the ball through someones window and broke a vase. The family braught the glass into the garage and a man was there. He says "I am a genie, I'll give you each a wish". The husband asks for $1,000,000 in the bank and the wife wishes for a never ending life. "Wishes granted, now that I've made your wishes true I have a wish of my own" said the Genie. "What's that?" said the Husband. "I wish to sleep with your wife". The genie sleeps with his wife, and after sex the Genie tells the wife "is your Husband stupid?", she replies "No, he finished school, why would you say that?".. The genie says "Oh, it's amazing that he still beleives in genies, what a dumbass!.."

hahah.

[cannabis campbell]

Three men went to hell.

The devil said to them "You have come to hell, and you must now choose whether to spend eternity in room 1, 2 or 3"

He then opened the doors to the three rooms.

Room 1 was filled with men standing on their heads, on a hard wooden floor.

Room 2 was filled with men standing on the heads, on a cement floor.

Finally, room 3 had just a few men, standing in shit up to their knees and drinking coffee.

The men thought for a while, and decided to go with room 3, as it was less crowded and they could drink coffee.

They entered the door to room 3 and just as it was closing behind them, the devil said "OK men, coffee break's over. Back on your heads."

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AR15]

Don't care for the rep really, but here's one I always get a good laugh at:

Two guys Bob and Tim are talking. Tim asks Bob, "What did you get your wife for valentines day?"
Bob: I got her a diamond ring and a mercedes benz
Tim: Why did you get her that?
Bob: Well, if she doesn't like the diamond ring, she can look good driving it back.
Tim: Oh...
Bob: What did you get your wife?
Tim: I just got her some slippers and a dildo.
Bob: Really? Why did you get her that?
Tim: Well if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself.

Oh, and sorry girls, it's just a joke, hope no one gets offended. :wtf:

[slipknotpsycho]

Don't care for the rep really, but here's one I always get a good laugh at:

Two guys Bob and Tim are talking. Tim asks Bob, "What did you get your wife for valentines day?"
Bob: I got her a diamond ring and a mercedes benz
Tim: Why did you get her that?
Bob: Well, if she doesn't like the diamond ring, she can look good driving it back.
Tim: Oh...
Bob: What did you get your wife?
Tim: I just got her some slippers and a dildo.
Bob: Really? Why did you get her that?
Tim: Well if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself.

Oh, and sorry girls, it's just a joke, hope no one gets offended. :wtf:

lmfao... ok that's funny..

[cannabis campbell]

Don't care for the rep really, but here's one I always get a good laugh at:

Two guys Bob and Tim are talking. Tim asks Bob, "What did you get your wife for valentines day?"
Bob: I got her a diamond ring and a mercedes benz
Tim: Why did you get her that?
Bob: Well, if she doesn't like the diamond ring, she can look good driving it back.
Tim: Oh...
Bob: What did you get your wife?
Tim: I just got her some slippers and a dildo.
Bob: Really? Why did you get her that?
Tim: Well if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself.

Oh, and sorry girls, it's just a joke, hope no one gets offended. :wtf:

LMFAO that was fucking hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!! definately getting rep for that one

[onequestion]

whats the difference between a black person and a bench? a bench can support a family haha( im not racist but i think its funny )

No need for disclaimers sir.

[S.W.I.M. 504]

a man goes to a swimming pool and the lifegaurd says be careful and the man says thank you and he enjoys a nice afternoon of swimming

[palerider7777]

the one about betting was a good one nice cc well i'd like to say this is a joke but it a true story here's how it went down.my girl friend and i went to the fair and we walked up to a guy talking and a crowd of people standing around him.

so i told her lets go see whats going on.so when we walked up the guy had the men in the group standing in a line when he saw me and asked if i wanted to join the contest. i said what is it he said the man who has the biggest c%$k would when this motorcycle. i said ok so the first guy droped his pants and it was 9inches. then the 2nd guy was 13. the 3rd guy was 16!!

so it was my turn and my g/f said to me your not really gonna do this are u. and i looked at here and said it's ok hun im just gonna pull out enough to win