Hard choice.. need advice

[timespaceandme]

Havnt been here for a while, and didnt make a good impression either, but you know people change...
Now this is my story and even the magical power of ganja failed to help me.

I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years now, but this year, she had to go to another city to study fashion. We decided to have a long distance relationship, and she would come back up for the holidays, which happened every 8 weeks.
She is angelic. beautiful. but also, kind, caring, smart and I love her so much.
But last week, when she came back up, she confessed to me that she cheated on me with a 33 year old brazillian dude, who, she told me, forced himself on her as she worked with him. If thats bad enough... they had sex SEVEN times. Seven. i was devastated, beyond tears, beyond speech. She cried her eyes out in front of me, saying that she's so depressed down there she only has one friend and she doesnt fit in at all, and she was vulnerable and alone and her parents wont support her as much as she wants.
Now, I have no idea what to do. She also told her best friend, and her best friend tried to convince me that she's not a whore, she was just vulnerable and that guy obviously took advantage of it. But how the fuck am i supposed to deal with this? I really love her, but i just dont know any more.

If anyone has a suggestion, please let me know, this took a long time to sink in, and none of my friends know what I should do.
Peace guys,
Keep the green fairies alive

timespaceandme Reviewed by timespaceandme on 07-09-2007. Hard choice.. need advice Havnt been here for a while, and didnt make a good impression either, but you know people change... Now this is my story and even the magical power of ganja failed to help me. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years now, but this year, she had to go to another city to study fashion. We decided to have a long distance relationship, and she would come back up for the holidays, which happened every 8 weeks. She is angelic. beautiful. but also, kind, caring, smart and I love her so much. But Rating: 5

[Spoken Word]

Talk about a hard choice.

You don't have sex with someone SEVEN times and then just simply.....regret it.
she decided to have sex with him.
you should decide to end it with her....she's big enough to move, live by herself, cheat on you....seven times... then she can handle not having a boyfriend..
it's not like she valued you.


and you... would have to deal with the heartbreak for a couple months.... sulk.....smoke.....drink.....sleep......cry.....li sten to love songs and cry some more...

but after a really long time, it'll be the last thing on you mind....i garuntee it.

[LuckyG]

Not only that, but she had sex seven times in eight weeks. Dump her.

[timespaceandme]

But even her best friend said that it was COMPLETELY out of character. her best friend was "hit by a bus" with this info.

Where's the "good things happen to good people" when you need it

[420MissHighTimes420]

Where's the "good things happen to good people" when you need it

fuck if I know. She is most likely feeling vulnerable, and the guy most likely did take advantage of that, but she made that choice. He didn't rape her, she was lonely and needed to feel needed. I don't have an idea what you should do. Sorry man ... but hey dont let it make you feel bad about yourself or anything, it's not like she did it because she doesn't like you or because she wanted to hurt it. She did it because she was being selfish. Just keep in mind that you are the same great person with or with out her, you don't need the validation of having a girlfriend to feel good about yourself. So keep bussy and keep it off your mind.

[Blitzed]

I understand how it could happen, especially if she didnt know anyone. Once I could maybe deal with, but I hate cheating, I never have and if someone cheated on me, I don't know if I could handle it.

But anyway, it sounds like your still young, 20ish from what I'm guessing. So, I think you should find your self a new girl, I've never found long distance relationships to work.

I hope everything works out the for the best! I'll smoke a bowl for your good luck!

[Tainted Glory]

Be a fuckin man and have some self respect. Its just a cop out. Move on.

I know its harsh, but I've had an ex gf cheat on me and give me that same bullshit excuse. Its crap.

[clever421]

i think ive had it worse the girl who i was supposed to be with when i get back to were i live is having sex with her ex and she says she loves me and now we dont talk

[xblackdogx]

decide soon whether you're leaving her, or staying with her

if you stay with her,
FORGET ABOUT THOSE 8 WEEKS

[Storm Crow]

She didn't have to tell you, you know. She could have kept her mouth shut and you never would have known. But she wanted to be honest with you and decided to tell you she screwed up. That took guts. Most gals wouldn't have said a thing.

The dude was charming and exotic. He is also from a country that is steeped in machismo and male dominance. So she may be telling the truth about the forced sex. He would apologize, sweet talk her ("you are so beautiful that I couldn't help myself") and then seduce her. He's 33 and he just wanted some young tail. He likely has another gal by now (also young and naive)- guys like that just go from gal to gal. Sadly, women are culturally conditioned to respond to this type of BS. It takes a few weeks for reality to set in and realize what an a-hole this type of guy is. Most of them drop him like a hot potato (like your gal did). A few get caught up in the "romance" and become victims.

Your GF realizes that what she had (you) is far better than a 33 year old with a taste for young college girls. The bad news is that she cheated with an older promiscuous man (maybe she should get checked for STDs?). The good news is she chose you over him and chose to be honest.

You are going to have to weigh those few hours she spent in bed with him against her honesty, your love for her, and her love for you. Which will hurt more? Staying with her and forgiving? Or, leaving her and moving on? Only you can answer those questions. I'd advise rolling a fat one and going out to some quiet, secluded spot and do some heavy thinking. Peace - Granny:hippy: