Two nuns climbing back over the convent wall after a night on the town,
sister Agnes says to sister Mary, I feel like a commando, sister Mary replies don't be so F-ckin stupid where are we going to get a commando at this time of night.

A salesman in a hotel room cant get to sleep for the noise coming from a convent across the street, so he goes across and knocks on the door.
The mother superior answers and he asks her what is going on,Oh were holding a monks ball she says
Well could you kindly let go of it I'm trying to get some f--kin sleep

Cheers

NCM