420misshightimes420 - thanks for explaining that you don't have a car, that he would have to drive a bit to see you, and that you don't want to break up and then just send him on his way, or chill afterwards. completely understandable. i didn't know that, but knowing that now, yes, breaking up on the phone would be the best way to do it. especially with the little bit of distance he would have to drive, that would just be really really shitty to do that to him, even if he has treated you like shit in the past.

i'm really glad that you realize now how it affects other people, and even though you were thoughtless with your actions, now you know, and will hopefully avoid cheating in the future (i know that you said you would, i'm just emphasizing the fact)

yes, i think you should bring up other things that have gone wrong in the relationship - that way, whether or not he takes it well, he will hopefully at least hear it, and maybe think about it later, and try to correct some of his behavior. no one deserves to be treated like shit - along with being cheated on, i've also been treated like shit in most relationships i've been in, once again that's because of how passive i am, i suppose.

if you can't be your true self around the person you are in a relationship with...then...i don't really think it's much of a relationship. for a serious long term relationship to work out, each person much respect and love the other for who they are. you shouldn't feel uncomfortable, or feel as though you can't be yourself around whoever you're in a relationship with. i don't know how old you are, so maybe you don't want to look for a serious relationship right now, sometimes it's good to take a break and just casually date someone for awhile. but if you do that, you need to make sure the other person understands it's just casual, in order to prevent future heartache with that casual relationship. misconceptions and misunderstandings in a relationship can be a bitch and cause things to fall apart. again, i don't know how old you are, so i don't know how serious of a relationship you actually want to be in right now. no worries though, everyone takes things at a different rate

and no, you're not being dumb about things lol, you just don't have too too much experience with it, that's fine. as you get older and mature more (i'm not saying you're totally immature, what i'm saying goes for anyone, including myself), and get more experience, you'll start to understand things a bit better.

i'm really glad that i could help you out, and that you realize the severity of what you did and how it can hurt someone. i'm glad that others can learn from my experiences, because i feel like that adds to the silver lining - me never cheating on anyone ever because i know how it feels, repeatedly, and that someone else could benefit from what i've been through.

just be more sensitive to how that can affect other people, and things will be fine

*no worries about the length of your response to me, my first post was much much longer lol, and this one is rather long too. i tend to ramble and overemphasize things*

***edit: also, surreys princess is very wise, she knows what she's talking about with this as well she has helped me through a ton of shit, not just concerning relationships, but also just with my life in general