That is incredibly similar to my experience with marijuana. I had first tried it but had an acute panic attack, and vowed not to do it again. well than changed, and I would analyze my thoughts as well, I'm extremely blazed right now, so obviously this isn't making any sense, but I believe if you look at my first few posts I describe some of it.

Marijuana changed my life for the better. I devote my life to the cultivation of it, as long as I am physically able to. I plan on giving myself a break (i've been a daily smoker for over a year and half) so I can experience a monumental high again, where I'd have great realizations and incredible thoughts. Now, I'm so used to it, it's become my reality, and being sober is like being in an altered state.