damn dude =/ i know what anxiety myself... really bad too... it's caused me to go blind at one point for about 15 minutes...

as for your brother... well you can't force him to realize it, all you can do is hope maybe someday he will realize he's fucking up.. and maybe he won't... i know it still weighs on you, but in all honesty if i were you i'd just let it go.. no since in torturing yourself because he's blinded by religion....

as for being alone... well i know that well too... i'm the black sheep of my family and pretty much my entire family hates me with the exception of my grandparents, my mom, my dad (although i will have nothin gto do with him) and my brothers.. i don't even really have friends... i've got like... 2... and one has kinda disappeared off the face of the earth... sometimes being alone is for the best tho... with people comes drama, i dunno about you but i can't stand drama...

just keep your head up and don't let life make you give up... i think you really need to find a girl tho sure sounds like you could use one...