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06-28-2007, 06:32 AM #1OPSenior Member
I seriously need some advice
When my best friend went into a relationship with this girl, her and I hit it off rigth away. It's usually very hard for me to connect with people, yet I connected perfectly with her in every possible way, always feeling comfortable around her. Over the past couple years we became very good friends, and a mutual attraction to each other grew. We never did anything because neither of us would betray my friend/her bf, but the attraction is still there.
In the last few months I kept arguing with myself, trying to talk myself out of it, but I couldn't deny it any longer, I'm completely in love with her. She's perfect in every way for me and I just want to be with her so bad. I don't know how strong her feelings are about me, but she's at least said and indicated an attraction to me several times. She even said once if my friend ever left her I'd be next in line.
Now my friend has lost interest in her, yet seems to be stringing her along. He says he's not attracted to her anymore, doesn't want to have sex with her and only does it to satisfy her needs, and I'm starting to think he doesn't even respect her anymore. He constantly talks about girls from his past he wants to hook up with, and always goes on about this british medical student he wants to marry one day. He doesn't seem to respect or care for her at all, and it tears me up because I care for her more than anything in the world. I would appreciate her and treat her SO much better than him, but he won't just end the relationship, and she won't because she's still very much in love with him.
I just don't know what to do. Part of me wants to tell her all the disloyal things he's been saying, and tell her I would treat her so much better, but then I'm betraying my best friend. He truly has been my closest friend for 12 years, I could never do anything to betray him. But staying silent is just killing me, knowing that he doesn't care at all about her but won't leave her or tell her the truth. What should I do? What can I do? I've never felt so confused and torn.Gandalf_The_Grey Reviewed by Gandalf_The_Grey on . I seriously need some advice When my best friend went into a relationship with this girl, her and I hit it off rigth away. It's usually very hard for me to connect with people, yet I connected perfectly with her in every possible way, always feeling comfortable around her. Over the past couple years we became very good friends, and a mutual attraction to each other grew. We never did anything because neither of us would betray my friend/her bf, but the attraction is still there. In the last few months I kept arguing Rating: 5\"I think your love of the halfling\'s pipeweed has slowed your mind\"
- Saruman
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06-28-2007, 06:39 AM #2Senior Member
I seriously need some advice
Does he have any idea of this attraction between you and his girl? Kinda start hinting around about his girl being cool and stuff. Say stuff like you need to find somebody like her. When he brings up the issue of hooking up with another girl, kinda jokingly tell him to go for another girl and let you have his current girl. See how he responds and gradually get more serious about it. There's tons of advice out ther for this situation. That's just my :twocents:
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06-28-2007, 06:40 AM #3Senior Member
I seriously need some advice
Originally Posted by Gandalf_The_Grey
Originally Posted by Gandalf_The_Grey
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06-28-2007, 06:45 AM #4Senior Member
I seriously need some advice
Talk to your friend about it, you might be suprised, he might take it pretty well. I had a friend come talk to me about hooking up with an ex I had recently broken up with once. And although I was kinda taken back by it, after talking about it and seeing he truly did care about her, I was cool with it. If you explain the attraction in a way thats not like your trying to jump in, perhaps he'll end the relationship and after a bit of time you and the girl will hook up.
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06-28-2007, 06:50 AM #5OPSenior Member
I seriously need some advice
Does he have any idea of this attraction between you and his girl?
Kinda start hinting around about his girl being cool and stuff. Say stuff like you need to find somebody like her. When he brings up the issue of hooking up with another girl, kinda jokingly tell him to go for another girl and let you have his current girl. See how he responds and gradually get more serious about it. There's tons of advice out ther for this situation.
Originally Posted by BabyFacedAbortion
How would he react?
Bros before hoes hon, even if the love is true..
I think if you really care about her, you'll figure out a way to get your best friend to end the relationship with her..so she stops being hurt and then play it by ear from there. I wouldn't break up the two with the intention of dating her though. I'll hopefully think of something more helpful tomorrow morning..as it's almost 3 a.m and I'm kinda buzzed. <3\"I think your love of the halfling\'s pipeweed has slowed your mind\"
- Saruman
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06-28-2007, 06:52 AM #6OPSenior Member
I seriously need some advice
Originally Posted by ghosty
\"I think your love of the halfling\'s pipeweed has slowed your mind\"
- Saruman
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06-28-2007, 06:55 AM #7Senior Member
I seriously need some advice
If anything, tell him you're tired of hearing/seeing him drag her along and it's making you pissed.
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06-28-2007, 09:15 AM #8Senior Member
I seriously need some advice
I never thought I would live to see the day when Gandalf asked others for advice. You're a wizard dammit!
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06-28-2007, 02:39 PM #9Senior Member
I seriously need some advice
BROS B4 HOES............
GOT IT, GET IT, GOOD, LEARN THAT SHIT...........
There's millions of girls out there, is it really worth destroying your 12 yr friendship, over pussy, when there's pussy pretty much everywhere you look.........Get real man, for the thought to even rat your friend to his girl that you think he doesn't care about her disgusts me........but you did say you could never betray him so that's good, so dont, because at the end of the day he aint gonna hand over his girl to you, and your gonna lose a friend, and you might very well have to fight because of it, and fighting over girls is the dumbest shit in the world to do..........
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06-28-2007, 04:10 PM #10OPSenior Member
I seriously need some advice
Originally Posted by couch-potato
LOL, I actually considered writing "(even wizards need advice sometimes)" in the title but thought better of it. Guess I was wrong.
There's millions of girls out there, is it really worth destroying your 12 yr friendship, over pussy, when there's pussy pretty much everywhere you look.........Get real man, for the thought to even rat your friend to his girl that you think he doesn't care about her disgusts me........but you did say you could never betray him so that's good, so dont, because at the end of the day he aint gonna hand over his girl to you, and your gonna lose a friend, and you might very well have to fight because of it, and fighting over girls is the dumbest shit in the world to do..........
I've seriously never even been in a relationship because I hate socializing as is, and for some reason I just seem to be missing the "pick up gene" that other guys seem to possess; you know, that instinct on how to pick up girls.
But I couldn't be attracted to somebody who's stupid or shallow no matter how hot they were, I want to be with her because personality wise, she's perfect. I need an intellectual equal, not "pussy" as you put it.\"I think your love of the halfling\'s pipeweed has slowed your mind\"
- Saruman
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