Screw ups (sorry mods, no other term for it that i know)

[crudemood]

I often wonder what keeps us stuck. I read somewhere once that it is the same thing that keeps the animal in its cage, even when the door is open and he has the chance to walk free. Habit.

When you donâ??t know what else to do other than feel how youâ??ve felt for so long, it makes it hard to comprehend when someone says to you: just get over it. Itâ??s then that you must ask yourself (in Dr. Philâ??s southern drawl) â??Howâ??s that workinâ?? for ya?â?�

If you think you are somehow honoring her by clinging to the pain and guilt, and that somehow by informing her of it, some miraculous healing will take place, then you are mistaken. I think you know that already. Be reassured - there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling! Be empowered - you have a choice as to how you deal with this now. Stay stuck, or use your pain as a catalyst for positive change.

I love the idea of writing her a letter. That may seem overwhelming at first but just block off some time and sit down alone and make yourself do it. Just start anywhere and just write and write and write. Everything you have mentioned, all your regrets, all the things you would have done differently, and how all that has made you the man you are today, etc. You will be amazed at what will come to your brain when you start to get it down on paper. Then DO NOT send it to her. Get rid of it. Itâ??s even therapeutic in how you destroy it: set it on fire or tear it up into tiny little pieces, throw it away then take the trash out. Let all of it go, once and for all. What would honor her (and more importantly, your wife) most would be you doing a little work to get yourself to a place where you can finally forgive yourself. All my best.

Yup I've done that except I haven't torn up the letter yet! It ended up to be a 4 page single spaced letter, I had ALOT to say. lol. But it DID make me feel bettter

[slipknotpsycho]

the reason it weighed on me so horribly is cuz.. well she was unstable.. she'd been hurt alot... and i swore up and down i wouldn't do it to her.. and i didn't intend to... but i did.

anyways like i said, i got the answers i needed... and i'm cool now..

[Ganj]

i have been trying to figure out how to let my pain out, and to not look back... and i think i completely understand what your saying... i have been doing this lately, and man i believe it is working, just move on forgive forget... know that love will come again, and pain is only for the moment not to hold on to forever,.

I feel so much better after getting this concept into my head.. The weight of pain has been lifted and it feels good.

It's funny how you have to train your brain like that. The human is resilient but there comes a time when all of us crack. Often times, we fiddle around in search of answers to happiness but all that results is vain insight, and our pain continues. It isn't until we put our own search for happiness behind us, that we can create a better world for all...I think. That's what it seems like anyway. Glad to hear you're feeling better. You were in quite a rut there it seemed. How is everything with your grandma?

[slipknotpsycho]

you asking him about his grandma or me about mine? i's confused

[Ganj]

Not you, slip. How is your g-ma anyway?

[Nation_1ne]

There's never a true way to get over someone you have loved. The problem is being that memories never go away. So many of us love to reminisce, which is what brings our old lovers back.

[BlAzInIt4:20]

[quote=Ganj]It's funny how you have to train your brain like that. The human is resilient but there comes a time when all of us crack. Often times, we fiddle around in search of answers to happiness but all that results is vain insight, and our pain continues. It isn't until we put our own search for happiness behind us, that we can create a better world for all...I think. That's what it seems like anyway. Glad to hear you're feeling better. You were in quite a rut there it seemed. How is everything with your grandma?[/QUOTE


its like the time i told her i was gay... i told her i smoked weed since i was 9, smoked with all these people she knows of. My letter seemed to work we have been talking more and have completely got over the issue that happen. Its was more then i thought her not knowing the other side of me, but now she does and i feel at one in my own house now..things are good with gma.

[Ganj]

its like the time i told her i was gay... i told her i smoked weed since i was 9, smoked with all these people she knows of. My letter seemed to work we have been talking more and have completely got over the issue that happen. Its was more then i thought her not knowing the other side of me, but now she does and i feel at one in my own house now..things are good with gma.

You wrote her a letter? That is your outlet, babe! It's good to hear things are going well. Tell me, do you often find yourself preoccupied with your own affairs that it seems you are inconsiderate of others' feelings? If so, writing is totally for you! You have thoughts and feelings that cannot be expressed verbally, well they can, but it's just not in you. But it is in you to write! So, for future reference...you know, you know. lol

That is terrific! You are at one in your home! Keep up the good vibes.

[partyguy420]

i dont really know what to tell ya bro... cause im having the same problems... you guys all rember my famous EX(if you have read past posts theres only one i really cared about or every really talk about on here) but anyways... im always sitting around thinking about how much i love her... but then i think about the things shes done to me... so i think about how much i hate her... then i think about how much she said she loved me... and so i start thinking about how much i love her to... the only thing that has kept me from going back to her is something she said after i got out of jail...."im sorry but i fucked D.C. while you were gone" i asked her why she would fuck yet another one of my homies and she replyed "because you werent around for me, but D.C. was he was there for me to cry on his sholder, and there for me to laff with." and what i want to say in responce to that is " yea but were you ever really there for me? i go to jail, and you dont bother to come vist me, to write me a letter, or to be home when i call, when im sitting in jail, crying, because i cant see my mom or my brothers and sisters, or my homies... but you werent there for me,,, you were to busy fucking MY best friend, on MY couch, in MY house, in MY room, probobly getting high with MY monney... and probobly using the condoms I bought"


thanks for letting me vent a little bit