I often wonder what keeps us stuck. I read somewhere once that it is the same thing that keeps the animal in its cage, even when the door is open and he has the chance to walk free. Habit.

When you donâ??t know what else to do other than feel how youâ??ve felt for so long, it makes it hard to comprehend when someone says to you: just get over it. Itâ??s then that you must ask yourself (in Dr. Philâ??s southern drawl) â??Howâ??s that workinâ?? for ya?â?ť

If you think you are somehow honoring her by clinging to the pain and guilt, and that somehow by informing her of it, some miraculous healing will take place, then you are mistaken. I think you know that already. Be reassured - there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling! Be empowered - you have a choice as to how you deal with this now. Stay stuck, or use your pain as a catalyst for positive change.

I love the idea of writing her a letter. That may seem overwhelming at first but just block off some time and sit down alone and make yourself do it. Just start anywhere and just write and write and write. Everything you have mentioned, all your regrets, all the things you would have done differently, and how all that has made you the man you are today, etc. You will be amazed at what will come to your brain when you start to get it down on paper. Then DO NOT send it to her. Get rid of it. Itâ??s even therapeutic in how you destroy it: set it on fire or tear it up into tiny little pieces, throw it away then take the trash out. Let all of it go, once and for all. What would honor her (and more importantly, your wife) most would be you doing a little work to get yourself to a place where you can finally forgive yourself. All my best.
verdure Reviewed by verdure on . Screw ups (sorry mods, no other term for it that i know) ever fuck up like REALLY horribly in your life... pertaining to relationships and even tho it's been years upon years you can't seem to let it go....? even tho both of you have famalies now, you just can't let it go... you have no real desire to go back with them or anything... you just feel things are 'unresolved' (best word i can think of) even tho everything has been thoroughly explained? i dunno what to do anymore -.- i'ts really starting to get to me... i thought with time after i Rating: 5