Why is promiscuity associated with low self-esteem?

[cannabis=freedom]

That's bullshit. I always hear this about how anyone, male or female (but most often female), don't think anything of themselves if they have a lot of sex.

Have you ever thought that maybe they're really horny, and that sex is something that is there to be enjoyed? That's like saying a weed-smoker has a low opinion of himself...while we all know that MOST tokers do so just because it's so damn fun to get high!

Now, I'm not saying every promiscious person is free from these problems, but I just think the majority enjoy sex because it simply feels good, and they want to have as much of it as possible.

cannabis=freedom Reviewed by cannabis=freedom on 06-26-2007. Why is promiscuity associated with low self-esteem? That's bullshit. I always hear this about how anyone, male or female (but most often female), don't think anything of themselves if they have a lot of sex. Have you ever thought that maybe they're really horny, and that sex is something that is there to be enjoyed? That's like saying a weed-smoker has a low opinion of himself...while we all know that MOST tokers do so just because it's so damn fun to get high! Now, I'm not saying every promiscious person is free from these problems, but I Rating: 5

[Its a Plant]

But promiscuity means with multiple partners as well...haha...so yeah...enjoy being a whore. :thumbsup:

[cannabis=freedom]

But promiscuity means with multiple partners as well...haha...so yeah...enjoy being a whore. :thumbsup:

Haha I'm just saying, what does it matter if it's multiple partners? Some people don't like just one flavour of ice cream....

[FreeVenice]

I think that people are promiscuous when they can't handle being with one person. Either they can't handle putting trust in someone, or they are scared that there not worth someone putting their life in there hands. I think allot of people get addicted to that new car smell too. . .lol

[FakeBoobsRule]

It can mean low self-esteem but it doesn't always mean low self esteem. Sex can fill a need for attention which can be validation for someone with low self esteem.

[birdgirl73]

In studies of people who're considered promiscuous, though, a simple love for and desire for lots of sex isn't what's found. The link between "promiscuity" and low self-esteem has been proven many times, clear back to the days of the Kinsey studies in the 40s and 50s.

I'm not saying there aren't people who like sex and crave a lot of it. There are. And then there are people who're downright sexually compulsive, who're using sex really as a substitue for something else, almost getting a high off it. Those people have major issues and almost need 12-step help for sex addicts.

I actually struggle with the word "promiscuity" because it's a word that carries with it a lot of judgment, I think. But particularly with women who have lots and lots of partners, the research has shown that they're often acting out other issues by choosing all those partners, either a need to find love (as opposed to sex) or replace affection that was missing in their family of origin, or replace affection and attention they didn't get from their male parent. There are lots of reasons.

The link to low self-esteem is fairly easy to understand if you know how people, particulary women, are wired. Under normal circumstances, we're genetically and evolutionarily driven toward choosing a single, steady partner. That's in our genetic makeup because, of course, we bear children and so need to find a solid, steady partner who'll be in there with us for the long run, helping raise that child. Men are less inclined toward monogamy and, consequently, have a higher ratio of sex partners. But when folks aren't feeling good about themselves, they'll often jump from partner to partner, looking for a partner to satisfy some need that's not being met elsewhere. There's where the esteem issue comes in. And particularly with women, who are, as a rule, more sexually satisfied with a partner they know, love and trust (this has to do with a recent study done in the Netherlands about orgasmic ability being found to be possible under circumstances where there's no fear or mistrust), repeated, frequent nearly anonymous partners aren't what do the trick emotionally or sexually for us.

So that's where the link between promiscuity and low-self-esteem come in. I inevitably get lots of "Oh, that's just bogus" comments from young men, but you can research the studies for yourselves and see that I'm citing valid information and reasons here. I've also volunteered in a women's crisis center for many many years. Those ladies, many of whom have abusive, awful partners, are the epitome of low self-esteem. If they weren't they wouldn't choose people who treated them so badly. Before settling on their partners, they inevitably had numerous other sexual partners, none of them satisfying, loving, or long-lasting relationships. If they'd had a little more belief in themselves and their value, they'd have been able to hold out and find someone who'd treat them decently instead of just jump from bed to bed with succession of Mr. Wrongs. When women like themselves, they value the emotional intimacy that comes along with physical, and they aren't so quick to spread their legs for someone unless it's clear he's capable of both.

[crudemood]

everything in moderation i say..
but promiscuity isnt for me, im one loyal partner! but then again i'm afraid of comittment, you can see how torn i am at times.. and how lonely. lol. damn my ethics!

[Ash 420]

There isn't always an underlying issue, some people just like having sex alot. It can be very fun. But I also think that some people screw to fill some sort of void in their life.

[cannabis=freedom]

Birdgirl, I absolutely agree that anyone who stays in an abusive relationship or who has sex with people whom they do not like at all definitely has issues....having said that, though, a young man or woman who has sex with a great number of people whom they like (on however superficial of a level) and who is treated well...what's the harm, really? Youth is a time where commitment isn't necessarily a must, right?

[420MissHighTimes420]

For me it does. I sometimes feel shitty about myself, and when guys want me it makes me feel wanted and well just plain better about myself. Pathetic I know.